expectations.

The day started out great as I was feeling better this morning although I'm still trying to change my diet to suit my stomach's demand (gosh..these organs are really picky!). Ran gel electrophoresis of my restriction digestions and it worked! So that was my happy morning....

Had a class at 1pm. I really do enjoy the topic of this class but I'm starting to dislike (although I try not to dislike anything) the way the format the class - no exams but a paper due every 2 weeks. I don't mind the papers since it allows me to practice (side-tracking..anyone of you listening to hitz fm now - 7.04 am in M'sia - all the songs sucks! what happen to djs with good taste???) writing scientifically, which I've not written a really solid one for a long time. So where's the problem? The problem..or I should say challenge, is that the advisors in this class all think that we Ph. D. students have nothing better to do other than attending their class. They assign 7 papers to read that is suppose to prepare us for their lectures, which I admit that they do because I understand the papers better. Then they had to assign 2 other papers for the assignment and we're suppose to look for primary literature and not review papers. I know that it's important to read primary literature to get the facts right and not get confused with rationality given by bias scientists but not everyone in the class focuses on microbial pathogenesis. Reading primary literature does not help at all when I'm trying to write a paper that should include my ideas and opinions. I'm a microbial ecologist and how am I suppose to know what is 'gentamicin protection assay'??? Am I not looking hard enough...I don't think so..I looked for it in the text book, which is suppose to be the reference book for those who does not have a strong background in microbial pathogenesis and do I find it there? NO! I looked at google and what did I get? Primary literatures that describe it in the experimental procedure in a VERY undetailed manner. Arghgghgh!!! This is making me so mad!!! It also does not help that during the discussion sessions, we're asked questions, we're expected to answer and what do we get? A shrug from the advisors saying that it's yet to be discovered and they don't know about it. Why can't we just focus on current hypothesis and try to solve it instead of creating more hypothesis that none of us in the class would probably be involved in?

While I was trying to stay in focus despite all the stuff that I don't understand, we were assigned another 2 papers for Thursday. Crazy!! This confirms all the overexpectations that Ph. D. students here are getting...who was the one who decided for me to continue studying? Unfortunately...it's me.

..and while all these are happening here, parents are busy helping grandparents remove and clean all the stuff they need for the yearly prayers to our dead ones. Sigh..all the good food..especially ju hu char!!