Liang Jin Ru

I usually don't buy cds at their original price but sometimes, we do things without thinking..a spur of the moment kinda action. I'm sure all of us have done something like that before right? It was one weekend when I just missed listening to this song so much and I couldn't find it on the net to download any. I had also stopped using Kazaa or any of those mp3 downloading programs since I won't be able to deal with any virus or spyware attack on my laptop. So I went to yesasia.com and bought the first cd of Liang Jin Ru - The Power of Love Songs (恋爱的力量 ) that I saw with the two songs that I wanted to listen to so badly. It's been two weeks since I received it and I have been playing it every single day. The cd is still in my laptop, haven't moved it since I popped it in the very day I received it.

I used to tease BK for listening to the same cd again and again as though there's no other songs to listen to and here I am doing the same thing. But I have yet to feel bored listening to it and for some reason, the two songs in there just seems to be very meaningful to me at this moment. One of the songs, 我喜欢, remind me of the simple days when life was so perfect, when we didn't have to ask for more, when I wanted the clock to stop ticking and freeze the moment. The other, 如果有一天 , makes me think about second chances and memories that occurred while this song was playing in the background. A question that we were both thinking of but neither dared to ask because we both knew and still know that there's no answer to that. But dare I hope that a wish so impossible will come true? Not exactly but I don't want to lose hope that one day I'll get back what I lost.

Thanksgiving break

Steamboat3, originally uploaded by lilsQuirr3l.

It's been a very unproductive break but one that is desperately needed. The holiday actually started on Wednesday, the eve of Thanksgiving day. Everyone in the lab left by 3pm and it was snowing heavily outside, making the atmosphere in the lab even less appealing. I wanted to be out there in the snow, taking pictures, feeling the snow falls onto my palm and the cold breeze of the night, which was not too cold. But I stayed in the lab until 5pm when S and CY came to pick me up for steamboat dinner at G's house.

G prepared steamboat..one I haven't had for a very very long time. The last one I could remember was at JL's house at Westbrook, Kalamazoo during CNY of 2003. That was when we found out JL has feeling for SC. It was revealed over a game of truth or dare I think...or maybe it was over a card game. I couldn't really remember but it was a very fun night. Simple with just a few of us close friends. Those were the days when everything was perfect even though life was hard.

But this year's steamboat has a very comfortable atmosphere too. It was just G's family, MW, S, CY, EF and me. We helped out with some of the dishes and set the table. G made both the spicy and plain soup. We had lots of fish/sotong/shrimp/pork balls, chicken, shrimp (!!!), quail eggs (!!!..I miss this soooooo much!!) and few other dishes. She even baked marble cake for dessert.

After dinner we helped put away the dishes and adjourn to the hall to play Mario 6 on Nintendo Game Cube. That was fun..but only when I was watching. I did so badly in the game that I hardly survive till the end of it. That shows how good I am with controller that has the joystick mode. I still prefer Playstation or GameBoy. I was glad I went as I had a good time and it's rare to get to meet these people with all our busy schedules.

Thanksgiving05e, originally uploaded by lilsQuirr3l.

On Thanksgiving Day, CY, S and me went over to TT's house for late turkey lunch. She cooked a huge 5 lb plus turkey, mashed potatoes, green beans, wild rice and cream puffs for dessert. It was all great. We watched Jay Chou's Initial D over lunch and I'm glad I went too. Compared to last year's Thanksgiving, this year's Thanksgiving is definitely more happening. But the best Thanksgiving I had was sometime during college days at WMU. There was a big party over at Edmund's place. We had tons of food, but at that time, the best was SP's curry puff and CP's banana pistachio nut cake...other than the turkey of course. After all the noise and excitement during the party, BK and me had a quiet night watching a movie on his pc.

After lunch at TT's place, S dropped me off at UL's place for Thanksgiving dinner. Can you imaging how much food that is??? But dinner at UL's place is vegetarian since they are Jewish but the food were definitely unique. R, UL's wife made wild-rice stuffed squash which I really liked because she had pecans in them. Of course, the best was the pecan pie! After dinner we played a few games of Dominoes and I won during the last round!! UL dropped me off back home and I finally got a chance to talk to M. He came back from Washington for Thanksgiving dinner at his grandparent's place. He was suppose to pick me up for dinner there but his flight back to Detroit was delayed and he didn't want to miss dinner so I said it's okay, we can meet the next time he gets back or when I go to Woods Hole next year. So I had a nice night talking to him and even got a chance to talk to BK too.

Now, I just want to have a quiet Sunday, finish up some of the work I plan to finish before Monday and have some time with myself.

is it finally over?

Yesterday, I was organizing my schedule and planned to make this weekend free to catch up with work that I've missed.
- update my Statistics notes
- prepare my presentation for Tuesday
- read up the articles I've been meaning to
- cook something healthy
- and of course, some myself time

But had to push them back to tomorrow. S needs help moving to Detroit. I volunteered to help out since I don't really know that many M'sians here and I feel that it's nice to help among few of us that are left. It's also kinda nice to be hanging out with friends than to just stay home and be solitary. S came to pick me up at 8am this morning, went to her place to move the stuff into the cars and left for Detroit by 11am.

Her place is awesome!! It's exactly the kind of place I would love to get when I get a job and plan to settle down. She has two bedrooms, lots of closet spaces (!!!), her own dryer and laundry in the kitchen and of course a lovely dressing area. It's also a very nice and quiet neighborhood. Came back to Lansing at 2.30pm and CY dropped me off at the lab for me to take a picture of my SDS-PAGE gel. They came to pick me up at 3pm back to S and CY's place. S cooked udon noodle which was really good although it looks simple. Chat a little while after the meal and CY fetched me back to my place.

While it's just a simple day with friends, it feels comfortable. I did not kept thinking about things I need to do. No, it's a not a way to neglect my responsibilities. I know I have to work extra hard tomorrow to catch up but I think it's worth to spend the time with them. At the mean time, I also came to realize a few things. While moving, CY would watch out for me when I'm carrying something really heavy. He would carry it for me, pointing me to something lighter or help me out. It's not easy to find a guy like this anymore. He's not making me feel useless and yet he's being a very gentleman. I was also having a runny nose because of the warm weather today and he kept asking me if I'm okay. Before we left for Detroit, I told him that I have to go back to lab to get something done before the end of the day. Right when we arrive Lansing, he brought me straight back to the lab and insisted that he comes back to pick me up to get something to eat after that.

Where can we find guy friends who are so caring and aware? It's all these little things they do that catches my attention. Lots of guys think that if they get expensive stuff for their girls or if they bring them for an expensive dinner, their girl will be happy. But are the girls really happy that way? I remember FY used to shower me with all kinds of gifts. But what happened to us? Nothing. He didn't know how to show his feelings, or at least I didn't get it since I didn't think that feelings should be depicted through materials. Later, when BK came along, he wasn't the type of guy who buys lots of gifts, not even during big occasions. But he knew the little things that makes me happy. That's the one characteristic that made me freeze right there in his arms. For a long time, I thought that guys like this don't exist anymore. But today, CY reminds me that I'm wrong.

Today CY asked me how's things going between BK and me. I said that I hardly think about him and I don't sacrifice sleep and work to talk to him anymore. I also don't get upset so easily when he says things that seems like he didn't care. When I said it out loud, I realized that it's been a long time since I got upset over him, that it's been a long time I stayed up late hoping to see him come online and talk to him, that it's been a long time I toss the phone from my left palm to my right palm thinking if it's okay to call him, that I cry myself to bed thinking about all the things we could have done and of course, thinking how could he walked away at the time I needed him most. Does this means that it's finally over? Hmm.. I think he'll always be part of me since we've spent most of our teenage years together but it's time to close that chapter of my life and move on. Today, CY showed me that BK is not the only guy whom I can describe as 'my type'. He may not realized that he opened my eyes but if you happen to stumble upon this some day, thanks CY! At least for the next month I have someone to hang out with and still be myself.

It's snowing!!!

This is my fifth winter and it still amaze me to see the first few specs of snow. It was forecasted to snow sometime this week but I didn't expect it to start snowing in the afternoon. I stepped out of the building to cycle to class and I feel this soft ice clumps falling down. It's just such a wonderful feeling to be out there when it's snowing. It is still snowing heavily right now and the view from my lab window is just indescribable. Everything is white and the buildings stand out looking old but classic while the dim street lights brighten the path here and there.

Wonder if I'll ever be bored of snow...if not maybe I can stay here for a long long time :P

Carpe diem

Novsquirrelh, originally uploaded by lilsQuirr3l.

It's almost three weeks since the crashed and it still haunts me every now and then. These past few weeks have change my life a great deal. There's just so many signs telling me that I gotta slow down and treasure life. Time seems to passing through the gaps between my fingers without me actually feeling it.

When I spent the past Saturday hanging out with CY, I realize that I said lots of stuff that ended with 'I haven't done it in a long time'. The last time I went to the mall was about 4 months ago. The last time I went to a restaurant I like was about the same time too. The last time I took a walk around the campus was that long too. It all happened before I got the car. Ever since I got the car, I buried myself in work. I knew I could go home late at night, I could come in during the weekends, I could start early in the morning before even the sun comes up and I could even stay overnight. I kept working and working without taking a break. I got something I wished for but I took life, nature, and health for granted.

I haven't been online long enough to blog surf for quite sometime too and when I started doing that sometime this weekend, the first blog I got too was Tales of Zbjernak's entry on how a fish jumped out of the fish bowl to experience the life he could only see through the bowl. It's like before I got the car, I wanted to go places at times I like and not having to wait for the bus. Or to drive a long distance and just enjoy the scenery. But did I do any of that when I finally got the car? Nope. Every weekend was spent in the lab. I did not even go to the mall that is further away.

I also learned from the movie Saw2 that I just watched this past weekend. There's a line somewhere in there by Jigsaw who says that life is meant for those who treasure it (not the exact line..but you got the meaning). I totally agree with him. Thinking back, unfortunate things usually happens when we take something for granted. True, sometimes it's just plain bad luck. But I still believe that things happen for a reason.

I've been given a second chance and I am gonna make good use of it. Again, I believe that there is a reason my life was spared on that Saturday which I planned to work all day when I could have stayed home and catch up with time. From today on, I pledge to live a balanced life! Not gonna spend my entire weekend here in the lab anymore. Well..at least not all weekend. Gonna work hard and play hard! Just like this squirrel right here. It knows that it has worked it's way high enough to be safe from being attacked so right now it's just gonna stay there and enjoy it's view. There's still a long way to achieve what I want in life but I believe that the strength and motivation in me will guide me through a path of colors. Carpe diem!

Isn't fall lovely?

RedCedarNov05e, originally uploaded by lilsQuirr3l.

Had a chance to relax a little today and went for a walk around campus with CY to take some pictures of the Fall season. This is my favorite season of the year. It's comfortable enough to walk around without having to bundle myself in thick, bulky, suffocating winter coat that makes me look like a sack of potatoes and not warm enough to make me sweat after 10 minutes of walk. The scenery is also very breath-taking and makes me stop to remember that life is beautiful if we just take some time, pause from our busy schedule to appreciate what we've been blessed with. I also loves to see the colors of the leaves change from red to orange then to yellow and finally brown before they fall off. The picture above was taken from a bridge looking down to Red Cedar River, a river that runs across MSU, separating into the north campus and south campus. It’s a really beautiful addition to the campus but unfortunately, the pollution level of the river is beyond repair.

After the walk, we went for lunch at Ria Restaurant, a new Chinese restaurant in Lansing that also serves Malaysian food. I ordered Char Kuey Teow which amazed me that it was close to home but unfortunately, my appetite disappeared halfway through as it was too oily. CY ordered nasi lemak and it was really good! I might actually get that the next time.

We went to watch Saw II after lunch. It was short but I would give it a rating of only about 2/5. It was gruesome and kept me in suspense but I still like Stigmata better. I then intended to get a winter coat after the movie but I ended up buying two sweaters, a vest and a top which I don't need. Not forgetting, a GameBoy Advance game, A Series of Unfortunate Events. But since I haven't shop for 3 months or so, I think it is acceptable right?? :P

Apple Picking

apple, originally uploaded by lilsQuirr3l.

This was a few weeks ago when I got a free weekend and had a chance to join some Malaysians to go apple picking. Among the group, there were also some people from China and a Singaporean.

It was not too far away from Lansing and the apple orchard was privately owned. It was not a very big orchard since we finished walking around it within 1 hour but the amount of apples that one can get out of a tree is amazing. This picture only shows the apples from one of the main branch. Some branch has sooooo many apples that it could hardly hold the weight of the apples and was protruding towards the ground.

I got a bag of apples myself but I gave it away to my lab mates as I'm not a big fan of apples. Went there just to see an apple tree and experience apple-picking. But while I was there, I tried some of the apples and they are a whole lot better than the regular red apples we get. Definitely juicier! Kinda like Fuji apple...