helpless

It's been a long time since I have felt this helpless. I just had to get this out of my system. There's too much feelings here. I am overwhelmed.

As usual, while walking around the lab making sure all my students understand what they are suppose to do, I also try to make sure everything that they need are in order. I was putting all the bins that they need to incubate their plates in together and B came up to me and said 'We have a girl who is passing out here'. My first reaction - Oh no! So I walked out of the lab with him and saw her lying on the floor with her feet up leaning on the wall. What am I suppose to do??? We were never briefed about emergency like this!! If you spill a whole bottle of methanol at least I still know what to do! So I stood there and talk to her, asking her if she needs something to eat. She kept saying she's dizzy and all so I had B get a drink for her. When he came back, she sat up to take a sip and after a couple of minutes, she started panicking and so did I! She said her feets and legs are very tingly and she could hardly move them. Again, what am I suppose to do???

Thankfully, K came in and said we should call 911. Why didn't I thought of that??? I've never called before but there's always a first time right? Even then, it was B who made the call. While I always think they are very efficient and fast, this time, it felt like they were taking ages to get there. Eventually they came and I left the scene to tend to my kids.

I felt bad for my kids because they had questions, they wanted their graded notebooks back, they want to get things done to get out there early and at the same time, I wanted to be there for that girl. But what good was I if I could not do anything? Then I feel guilty because I didn't call 911 earlier. Why didn't I think of that first? Could I have brought her to the emergency room myself? or is there something I should have done to make her feel better? I felt so bad. I wish there was something I could have done. That I wasn't so scared. That I had been more calm and rational. That I had been more professional about the situation instead of sitting there talking to her. But no, I just felt so helpless. Gosh...what kind of TA am I? But I have never experienced anything like that before. Now I'm worried about her.

Remember, when there's an emergency, call 911! especially when I have no idea what to do.