crashed

It's been a week since the car crash. Physically, I'm feeling better. I went for a short jog yesterday evening and it was a little stressful on the bruises but it felt good to be able to run again. It was a little hard on the chest too but I'm sure it'll be fine if I learn not to wake up or reach up high using my chest muscles and shoulder blades too much. It'll actually be good for me to learn to use my abdomen muscles more. Otherwise, I'm feeling a lot better but still wishing that I don't have to look at the ugly scar right below my knees.

Emotionally, there's still flashes back of what happened but it always end right when the car is coming up towards me. Of course there's always part of me that wishes that I had not gone to work so early that morning, or that I had taken the parking permit from Steph the night before, or that I had not made the detour to that route but all I can say for now is, I'm glad to walk out of the car alive. It's still sad that I've finally got such an awesome car and now that it's just a piece of metal crap. But I'm thankful to all my angel guardians for protecting me. When I went back to look at the car again, I think it's a miracle that I am still alive. I could see the mark of the Ford Explorer when it crashes so close to my windscreen which shattered into pieces. It made me shudder with fear again but I remind myself that I am lucky to be alive so I should stop thinking about it.

But for the past week, I just didn't want to talk about it. I talked to my parents, talked to BK, talked to my lab mates for were all played a part in helping me to cope with the shock of the accident. I didn't want to talk about it anymore. I talked enough. I just wanted to move forward, let it go and just keep it as memory which will always remind me to treasure life. But friends being friends, they care and they can't help asking what happened. I just couldn't cope with it anymore so I decided to go MIA. Furthermore, it's not easy to tell people what happened when I couldn't recall it myself. All I could remember was the car coming towards me and anything after that, it was all a blur. It was like me looking from a far, looking through a blurry glass. I hope that they'll understand that I'm not trying to push them away but I just have a different way to cope with situations like this and my way is to just share it with people who are really close to me and then I just have to be by myself.

I'm sorry if I hurt any of you but I really hope that you'll understand that I'm just not used to talking about things. Just being me...

Rowdies spoil Brazilians’ wedding ceremony

I'm pretty sure the entire Malaysia has seen this piece of news by now. I saw it this morning while surfing for my daily dose of news. It is such a shocking news. True, there are lots of unfortunate events happening lately (as in the past couple of years) that happens back home but this is just now something I expect to see at all. What were these people thinking? Don't they have family of their own? Don't they remember how it was like when they got married? The celebration, the happiness, the anticipation of a whole new life?

Jorge is a post-doc in our lab and he's a Brazilian. He's been here in the States for quite a number of years and he still loves his country. I wish I could say the same for myself but sometimes, when things like that happen, I just can't help feeling betrayed. Jorge and I work together side by side in the lab. He's been my leaning post ever since I joined the lab. He's my secondary mentor, in fact, I talk to him more than I talk to my boss sometimes. He's like a great brother to me. We not only talk about work but about life in general, I can talk to him about anything. In the mornings, we often talk about the news we read about what's going on around the world. I usually share news about Malaysia and he about Brazil. But today, after reading that headline, I was speechless. For the first time, I could not just turn my chair around and say 'hei Jorge, there's this incident in M'sia...'. I was so embarrassed to read that news and I feel so bad for that couple.

Sigh, sometimes I wish that there is something we could all chip in to do. But sometimes, it feels pointless because there's always gonna be these people who will spoil it all. It takes millions to built a strong structure but it only take one to destroy it.

~disappointed~

Cream crackers

Cream crackers, originally uploaded by lilsQuirr3l.

Can you believe that they actually sell this at World Market?? I found it there a few weeks back and was so excited. It's been quite a long time since I've had this. I used to bring this to school for recess treat when I was in primary school. At that time, it was just a regular 'kiam pia' from pasar malam. There's two different kind of 'kiam pia' (it translates as 'salty biscuit' but it's not salty but cream crackers doesn't sound right either because there's no cream in it..oh well). One of them, the plain one, is oily and taste buttery while the sweet one is sprinkled with coarse sugar. I used to eat the sugar one by itself but I love the plain cracker with bak hu (chicken floss).

It also taste really good to dip it with ABC soup (tomoto, potato and mushroom soup). But the cream crackers was long forgotten when Gardenia came along. Grandma would buy the Twiggies for my afternoon snack and if it happens to be chocolate-filled, it'll finish in two days. Then it was Toast Em Banana Nut Bread but that was a little pricy and we eventually went back to Twiggies again. I miss all these snacks soooooo much. For some reason, similar snacks here in the States taste a lot sweeter than those in Malaysia.

Ever since I bought the cream crackers, I've been thinking about 'tau eu bak' but haven't got a chance to cook it yet. We used to dip it with plain white bread, those that does not have an external layer of toasted skin, the cheapest kind but the unhealthiest form of bread as it is just filled with air, but cream crackers would suffice for now.

Thinking back about all these simple food, I can’t help but wonder how can life become so complicated over what to eat for dinner when in our younger days, butter and sugar on white bread tastes as good as Dunkin Donuts sugar glazed donut.

Cheat sheet

STT cheat sheet, originally uploaded by lilsQuirr3l.

I was looking through my old statistics notes from my undergrad and I found the cheat sheet that we are allowed to bring during exam. I actually amazed myself by looking at how tiny my writing could be. I never really look at it this way since I was writing it. Now that I'm looking back at it, it really does seem small.

This also showed me how much my writing has changed over the past 3 years. It's no longer roundish anymore but a narrower and my 'a's are definitely getting smaller while my 'f's are getting fancier.

I've heard people say that one can guess the character of a person by looking at his/her writing. Hmm...is that true?

SpectraMax M5

Wooohooo!! We finally got a new fluorometer and the best thing is, it’s a plate reader, it has a cuvette reader AND it’s dual monochromatic!!

Ever since I got the plasmid constructed, I was trying to detect fluorescence of the cells after induction with IPTG but was not very successful as the filters for fluorescence that we have on our microscope is specific for GFP. It does not allow me to distinguish between CFP and YFP. Before, I was using the TD-700 Fluorometer from Turner Design. However, it actually belongs to Dr. Marsh and they have started a live-dead assay using fluorescence proteins so they would need it back now. I could still borrow it but it was quite inconvenient as I would have to return it by 5-5.30pm before people in the lab leaves and sometimes I need it for more than a day, which wouldn’t be nice.

About a week back, Tom told me that a request for a fluorometer from the department has been approved. It was a shared award between him, Dr. Britton, Dr. Bagdasarian and a few other professors. I was so excited over it when we had the training. I am also impressed that is has both a cuvette and a micro-plate reader. Furthermore, it has the capability to measure fluorescence polarization if I ever need to. I’ve got a new toy! Here’s the baby – A SpectraMax M5 from Molecular Devices.

English week

An afternoon sometime this week, a sudden flash back of my high school days came to my mind. Like most high schools, we used to celebrate English week every year and being one of the few 'nerds' in my class, I was always part of the organizing committee or an active participant. When I was in Form 2, I remember singing in front of the school ( I can't imagine ever doing any of those again..public speaking still freaks me out). It was guided by one of my favorite teacher, Pn. Zainon. She was one who is very organized and make sure everything is in order for the function. We had to practice the song for 1 hour or so everyday. One would think that I would be bored of the song by the end of it but I actually liked the song so much that it was stucked in my mind even after the English week. I completely forgot about it until recently. I could think of the tune but I can't get the words out right and I couldn't even remember what was it about or what was the title. Then while I was surfing the net earlier today, I found this and everything came pouring back to me.

Jamaican Farewell

Down the way where the nights are gay
And the sun shines brightly on the mountaintops.
I took a trip on a sailing ship
And when I reached Jamaica I made a stop

Chorus:
But I'm sad to say; I'm on my way.
I won't be back for many a day.
My heart is down my head turning aroun'
I had to leave my little girl in Kingston town.

Sounds of laughter everywhere.
And the dancers swinging to and fro.
I must declare that my heart is there
Though I've been from Main to Mexico.

Chorus

Down in the market you can hear
Ladies cry out while on their heads they bear
Aki rice salt fish are nice
And the rum is fine any time of year.

Chorus

I was so happy to find this and now the tune is stuck in my head again. It just brings back such good memories about high school days when everything seems to be so easy going. When all I have to think about is finishing my homework for that day. It's funny how when we were younger, we think about what we would do when we are older and now that we're here, we tend to look back at those days. Oh well....just a nostalgic moment.

Nyonya kuih

Wedding day lunch, originally uploaded by lilsQuirr3l.

Yum yum..I was listening to the Hokkien Podcast by John Ong and I started to think about all the wonderful nyonya kuih. The nyonya kuih in Penang are so much better than those in PJ or KL. In fact, even those nyonya kuih sellers in PJ are mostly from Penang. When mum was working at States ( I think it's currently called New Town), we used to buy onde-onde from this old lady who has a small stall at a corner Chicken Rice shop. Unfortunately, when she got older, she was too tired to make them anymore so she stopped selling them since onde-onde takes up lots of work.

In Penang, we used to buy nyonya kuih from an Indian man who carries the kuih in a basket at the top of his head. He was selling kuih around our neighborhood at Batu Lanchang ever since before I was born but he passed away a few years before I came here. Now, we usually buy nyonya kuih from Pulau Tikus market. We've tried those from several different markets but I still like those from Pulau Tikus best.

The picture was taken during my cousin's wedding lunch. We served a variety of Western desserts - fruit cake, chocolate cake err..I can't remember the other two. The nyonya kuih varieties are ang ku (the salty one), kuih talam (I usually eat the white part only :P), purple kuih bengka (not one of my favorite), errr...I can't remember the other two. Hehe..I only know how to eat them! Too bad these are the kuihs which we can never get here in the States. That reminds me, I better get the recipes from my grandma the next time I see her...delicacies like these are getting rare.

my gum story

It’s been a while since I’ve been online for long. Haven’t been feeling myself lately. Was always feeling tired, all I wanted to do was sleep or just lie down on my bed and not think of anything. Even going for Nigerian food at Detroit didn’t seem to hit on any of my nerves (I love trying new food and going for a ride).

It all started one afternoon when I finished annotating the sequences for my finished construct, pMMB67EH-YLC, which I’ve been trying to build for the past year. I was so tired and planned to just have a slow night, watching The Notebook. I’ve seen this movie before but since it always put me in a good mood, I rented it again. After dinner, which was supposed to be ‘char bee hoon’ but I soaked the ‘bee hoon’ in the water for too long so it became more of chicken rice ball, but that was fine since it’s still edible, I pop the DVD into my computer but nothing seems to work. Everything that can be clicked on was not reacting. The only thing that worked was anything found in ‘My Documents’ folder. That pisses me off because there goes my night of just chilling at home. Went off to bed feeling down.

The feeling never did bounce up the next day either. I found a Windows XP CD from a friend and tried to install it but it wouldn’t work. BK walked me through it again and it still wouldn’t work. So we decided to try using the WinXP CD that came with my Dell laptop, which obviously is illegal but I had no choice. I really want the computer to work. It’s old but I love my computer. About one or so later, it worked! Unfortunately, it’ll only be valid for 30 days if I don’t register it, which I can’t since there is no wireless network card on my PC (I only have wireless connection at home). But at least I know there are no major problems with the hardware and I can think of an alternative while the 30 days run out.

Although my PC is up and running then, my spirit was still down most of the weekend. That was when my gum started to swell and everything I ate was tasteless or I can hardly eat more than 2 bites because it hurts. Then I started to get an infection and my lymph nodes start to swell too. Sometimes I could feel the bacteria multiplying themselves to overcome my immune system but of course, we humans are better at that most of the time. It gets so bad that I resolved to eat only porridge with carrots boiled so soft that I don’t need to bite it. Then on Sunday, it became so warm and painful that I was eating ice-cream all day. Yeah…I was sure having fun. TV and ice-cream. But NO! It was a struggle even to open my mouth. I had to talk with my teeth clenched together like I was angry.

I woke up this morning feeling really bad and that’s when I decided to stop this pain and go get some antibiotics. I could have made some in the lab but I don’t know what causes the infection so that’s when I think it’s wise to seek a Doctor’s advice. Got to Olin Health Center, waited for about 20 minutes and Dr. Huber told me that I’m getting a new tooth!!! I got the infection because there’s a new pore opening in my gums for my new tooth to come out and at the same time, the bacteria in my mouth found a new niche!! That was hilarious but I couldn’t laugh at that time because she was telling me the news while pressing on my lymph nodes. I could barely keep the tears from falling down.

However, will get the confirmation on Wednesday after I get an oral x-ray. I sure hope it’s not or if it is, it will still have space to come out. I don’t wanna go for an oral surgery. That would suck big time. But now that I know my gums will be better, I feel better although my spirits are not sky-rocketing yet. It will be once I can turn without feeling the lump in my neck, swallow without hurting, chewing happily away and knowing that it’s not a wisdom tooth but merely an infection.

such a quiet night...

While I was walking out to dinner a few hours ago, I looked up the sky and am surprised to see it filled with stars. I used to love going for walks at night and stopping by the park, sitting on the swing while gazing into the sky. As I did that today, I wondered why I stopped doing that. The realization also made me realized how much I miss the company of the person who used to that with me. Then I started wishing that I don't have to be out having dinner by myself and that I don't have to be walking across campus on such a lovely night all by myself. It's when thoughts like this cloud my mind, I feel so down.

But that was a good walk. One I should be doing more often. One that has freshen me up while stuck in this lab all week long except when I go home to sleep. It's a very peaceful night after all the chaos happening in the day time with the students coming back for classes. I get to enjoy a lovely dinner - Char siew pui (barbeque pork rice) - without having to rush.

I may not have the person to accompany me for walks anymore but at least I still have myself. At least I still remember the things that makes me happy.

Penang Hokkien Podcast

I miss home soooooooooooooooo much!!! I was reading kstang's blog and decided to check out the site he recommended - Penang Hokkien Podcast. The moment I heard the Hokkien accent, I just wish so much that I am still that good at Hokkien. It reminds me of the words that are hardly used these days due to excessive English influence from the States. That's also because no one speaks Hokkien here. Some of the Penangites here doesn't seem to know Hokkien very well as part of their family are of the Cantonese origin. It's sad to know that not many people seem to know Hokkien very well anymore, especially the one from Penang.

The Podcast seem to remind me of all the 'si ku, go ku' that my ah kong used to tell us when we were kids. I wish I remember more of it but frequently, mum still likes to say 'U lui kai bo lor' whenever I get something which she thinks should not be spent on. Literally, it means 'got money spend no road' but the meaning behind it is that the money has been spent foolishly. There's also the often heard 'Bo tua bo sae' when we don't greet a visitor when they come to our house with 'aunty, uncle'. It brings the meaning 'impolite' or not showing respect to the elders, although it literally means 'no big, no small'.

first accomplisment

My first attempt towards designing a proposal for my research thesis is to create a plasmid that carries a fusion proteins of 'enhanced cyan fluorescent protein - betagalactosidase - enhanced yellow fluorescent protein'. The plasmid has already been created but in order to make use of the plasmid, I have to transfer this fusion gene into a broad host range plasmid so that I can transform the plasmid into a large variety of bacterial species.

My approach for the transfer was to amplify the fusion gene by PCR, digest the amplified fusion gene and my broad host range vector, pMMB67EH, with restriction enzymes SmaI and XbaI, and clon the fusion gene into pMMB67EH. Initially I was having trouble with my PCR and it was solved after about a month. Then I couldn't get any positive transformants after I ligated the fusion gene into pMMB67EH. For the past 3 months, I've been changing one variable at a time, trying to find out the best conditions for the ligation. I was also trying different ways to obtain the DNA preparation without losing too much each step. But again and again, I've been getting white colonies on LB Amp-IPTG-Xgal.

Finally, I found a blue colonies! However, these colonies were initially white. But after spending last whole week screening these colonies, it has finally been confirmed that they do carry the plasmid that I have been aiming to construct. Phew!! This is a big step towards preparation for my research proposal. I finally have a thesis subject!!!

Now I'm looking forward to finding out more about the expression characteristics, which seem to be quite weak as I could not see any fluorescence under the microscope even after 6 hours of induction with IPTG. But knowing that they are blue when grown in the presence of IPTG and XGal, they are definitely expressing the gene. Woohoooo...I'm sooooo happy to achieve such accomplishment. At least it's a happy start of my PhD career.

getting there

Woohooo! I finally got blue colonies. I was looking through my old plates (about 2 weeks old) so that I can throw away the unnecessary ones. As I got to a set of plates from August 8, I saw blue colonies. That was VERY surprising! I looked back in my lab notebook and my comment was ‘No blue colonies (’. So how come there are blue colonies on the same plates now? The blue colonies are also very dark blue and definitely seem to be growing fine.

Without hesitating further, I picked the blue colonies and streak them on LB plates supplemented with ampicillin, IPTG and X-Gal. There were 8 of them. The next day, I found that only 6 of them were still blue. The other two had reverted to white colonies. I am not sure what they mean but it’s an indication that these clones are not very stable. Delighted to see that these blue colonies are indeed expressing the lacZ gene, I inoculated them for plasmid prep. Isolated the plasmids yesterday and digested them today. Just before I left, I managed to analyzed the bands from these digestion and guess what…they ARE DEFINITELY different from my vector and from the plasmid that my gene came from. This is good news! It does mean success yet but definitely a step forward. At least I have something to troubleshoot on now. I was about to give up as I was repeating the same protocols again and again, changing one factor at one time.

Came back here after dinner to look at the restriction digestion patterns of the plasmids. They are close to the prediction based on my calculations but something is still not right. Will be digesting with different enzymes tomorrow to get more patterns. Will also have to start writing up a new protocol to confirm the expression of the gene. Woohoooo!! Maybe I can finally give Tom (my boss) the green light to buy the fluorometer.

seafood dinner

Just finished organizing some of the photos I took while on vacation back home. I came by this picture and started to feel homesick. When I was still in Malaysia, we used to have 'lean lor' (steamboat) on the eve of Chinese New Year every year. It was always an occasion where everybody is there. This is at my maternal grandma's house since my 'gee kim' is always the best cook and she stays there.

As years goes by, our two oldest cousins, J and C left for studies in United States. Later, my 'tua ee's' family would skip the event as they have to go over to her husband's side in Kelantan. Then there was a few years when dad couldn't make it back from China during CNY. Just the year before I left to come to US, it was almost a very quiet celebration. When I left, it became even quieter as Mei, my closest cousin, also left for her studies in Australia. My parents would also skip it as they were both in China the past few years. However, it was maintain until today that it is a reunion regardless of how many can make it.

It's been a long time since we've had the chance to gather like this again. So this past reunion dinner, which was a pre-celebration of Aaron and Emily's wedding, is a very important occasion to me. I had a chance to chat with Mei and Ling. My dad was the 'crazy uncle' he always was. All our mums were cooking together in the kitchen. The ahmah's were exchanging about the latest health topic. Jokes were shared, laughters continuously, smiles naturally on all our faces. It'll always be a memorable occasion. Even better was the food - it's all homecooked by my gee kim. We had steamed crab, balitong (that's my fave!!), char bee hoon, fried belachan chicken, 'hae kean' (deep fried prawns), some kind of shell which took a lot of effort to get the meat out and fried fish (can't remember what but they were good!, next to the balitong). We also got cold sparkling wine sponsored by Aaron.



It'll be a very long time before we get to gather like this again. The only people missing from there are J and C as they are still here in the States and my bro who could not get off from work in KL. There's more pics from that night's dinner here.

laundry

Laundry area are provided here in my apartment complex like most apartments do. Here we have four dryers and four washers for each apartment block, which consists of 36 units. There is hardly any problems when it comes to availability of the dryers or washers since the laundry area is open from 8am to 10pm, 7 days a week. We are given keys to the laundry room as it is locked to prevent outsiders from using it. The washers cost USD1.25 while the dryers cost USD1 and they are most of the time quite efficient. However, I have clothes from Malaysia which tend to shrink in the dryer under the hot cycle.

Yesterday, I was in the laundry room sometime in the mid-afternoon loading my clothes into the dryer. I was loading my dark colored clothes into one while my light colored clothes into another. There is two other washers and one of them seems to be occupied as the cover is closed. Since it was closed and there are other washers available, it didn't bother looking into it as it has nothing to do with me. So while I was loading my clothes, this aunty walked into the room, opened the closed washer, picked up a pair of shoes and walked out. The moment I saw the shoe, I was stunned. She acted like there wasn't anyone in the room. Did not even look at me and say hi, which is very common here in Michigan, especially from the Americans.

I've heard of friends talking about washing your shoe in the laundry washer but I've never known people who actually does it. How disgusting is that??? I'm gonna make a note to myself never to wash my clothes in that particular washer anymore. Thank God she didn't put it into the dryer, which will be worse! But then again, she might have done that before or have used other washers before too. Ewwwwww!!! How sick can these people be? So inconsiderate! I wonder how dirty is her shoe..urhg! i don't even want to think about that.

Please please please do not ever wash your shoe in the washer, unless it is specified to be for shoes only. How hard can it be to wash your shoe in the bath tub or in a pail?

free ice-cream!

Sometime after 1.30pm, just after I thawed my restriction enzymes buffer and DNA, the whole lab was pitch black. There was a power failure and apparently it was bad enough that it involves the entire campus. Someone called the power plant and was told that it might take at least an hour. However, after about 30 minutes, the electricity was still not back yet. We couldn't really do anything..

I wanted to digest my DNA and heat-inactivate a previous digestion - I need water baths.
Steph wanted to measure DNA concentration - involves the fluorometer.
Uri wanted to run PCR - needs a thermocycler.
John was looking through his slides - needs a microscope.
and the list goes on for other people...

Then we heard that the Dairy Store is giving out free ice-cream!! It's free! Who wouldn't go for it? So we went over there, lined up for like 10 minutes and got ourselves a free single scoop of ice-cream. I didn't got my favorite - Rocky Road - I got the orange sherbet instead. But hey, it's free! So no complains. They had to do that because the ice-cream were melting and there's no way they could sell that after that. The news travelled so fast that all the ice-cream was gone within an hour.

Unfortunately, when we were done with the ice-cream, the power was still down. So we decided to pack up and leave. Everyone left and I stayed back to lock up the doors. Just as I closed the door, the electricity came back...so I ended up staying.

a lovely evening

It's been such a long time since I spent some time doing stuff I enjoy. Did not plan any huge experiments today as I had to go down to Kalamazoo to pass something to a friend. Went there for lunch, catch up with some friends and just to be away from Lansing for a while. Planned to come back to Lansing before the Folk Festival end but time passed so fast when I'm having fun. It was nice just to sit down and chat about everything without having to worry about time.

So I missed the Folk Festival this year but it's okay since I'm not a big fan of folk songs either. Went back to lab for a short while after that - yeah, I still can't let go completely, it's tough, there's just too much aura in the lab that attracts me back there - Came home, had dinner and I couldn't help wanting to tell somebody all that I've done today. It's a weird feeling. I just wanted to send him an e-mail. But then after I start typing about two paragraph, I realized that maybe I'm telling too much. But I sent it a while ago anyway, hoping to hear from him tomorrow or soon. I hope I'm not getting myself into trouble.

But now I have the entire evening just to read, laze by the window, listening to my favorite songs, looking out at the changes of color as night falls and just let my mind wander endlessly. I might even be able to catch a movie if I can find something interesting in my yet-to-be-watched DVD collection. It's refreshing. I hope this short break will be good to motivate me to keep going in my experiments that have yet to bring success.

excitement

The past few days have been quite a hectic days. Whenever I told myself that I should cut down on the number of experiments I plan to do in a day so that I can go home before 8pm, it never seemed to work. Once I get one thing done, it leads to another experiment.

At the mean time, it's been quite fun days. Have you ever had days in high school when your crush or the person you admires so much past by you and your heart starts to beat faster? Or when you feel like you have to say all the right things to this one person? It's been like that these past few days. I have yet to meet the person but that's exactly how I feel. When the phone rings, my mind start to search for the right thing to say. Should we talk about this? Would he care? Am I telling too much? What if he gets bored? But after a while, all those thoughts are gone and we're just chatting happily away like we've known each other for a long time.

Every morning when I wake up, the first thing that I want to do is to check my e-mail. Did he have time to e-mail me last night? Did he think of me last night? It's not love. No, at least I don't think so. I've yet to met the person but it never once crosses my mind to wonder if he's fat or thin, ugly or good looking. I wonder why? I usually do wonder when I meet a person online. But this time it's different. There's just the need to talk to him, to share stuff with him or to just have fun and joke. Even just thinking of him makes me smile. Furthermore, we have so many common interest together that it feels good to know that someone actually do understand the importance of my work. And how often can one find a guy who likes to go for a walk? It's rare. It's weird that when we talk, we make plans about where to go and what to do. But if feels right. It might not happen but knowing that I've explored this in mind with someone...it just feels good.

It's a rare vivacity.

First car

First car back, originally uploaded by lilsQuirr3l.

I've been away from the 'virtual' world for quite sometime. I do leave my MSN online but have not been able to reply any of the messages I've got. This was not due to me ignoring my friends and family but I've been busy trying to juggle work and also settle some stuff = my new car!!!

I started looking for a car early this year as some of you has read in my earlier entries. Ever since I came back from M'sia, the need to have a car became more important as it's hard to plan my experiments all at the same time and that takes up a lot of time. Furthermore, it's nice to be able to go home and get some dinner before coming back here to work.

On Saturday morning, I went down to Kalamazoo to check out a Honda Accord. However, it wasn't a very well-maintained car and heeding the advice of a friend who is experienced in car mechanisms, I decided not to go get it. But on the very same day, a new listing for a 97 Honda Accord came out on cars.com and we went to check it out. It was at Battle Creek. We went there, test drive it, checked the car and asked a few questions, within 40 minutes, I issued a check for the car.

But the owner wanted cash as she's moving to a different state. So I came back to Lansing on that same night, worked on Sunday, get the cash on Monday morning and took the train back to Kalamazoo. My friends there brought me back to Battle Creek to get the car and settle the payment. I drove the car back to Lansing from there, got my insurance settled and went to register it yesterday morning. Lastly, I got a parking permit for the year this morning.

*phew* It sure was an adventure for my boring life. This together with all the events that had happened to me over the past three months have been the most exciting part of my life since a very long time. Work just seem to take part of my life away..and it's a huge chunk.

I'm just so happy to finally find a car and at a reasonable price. Now back to work..boss is back.

burnt

Yesterday night was the worst night I've ever had. I was doing gel extraction all day and have been looking at my gels with the UV light illuminator. I usually don't wear goggles when working with the illuminator since it's only a few minutes. However, I used the illuminator multiple times and I didn't realized that the UV was starting to affect my eyes.

Around 9pm, I head to the bathroom before leaving for home. As most other girls would do, I looked into the mirror while washing my hands and realized that my eyeballs are blood-shot red. I know that my eyes are tired as my contact lens was getting dry. But I've worn the contacts for more than 24 hours straight and I know that once I get a chance to wash it, it'll be fine. So I didn't think it was a big deal and the redness was probably due to improper cleaning of my contacts. I got home around 10.30pm, took out my contacts and laze around before going off to bed at around 11.30pm.

At 12.30am, my eyes started hurting. It felt like I've been swimming without goggles in a highly chlorinated pool for hours. In Hokkien, I would describe it was very 'siap' and at the same time, 'si'. So I tried to open my eyes and tears started to fall. It was worse than crying as the tears came down like rain was dripping from my head downwards. It hurts even more and I had to squint my eyes shut. I groped my way to the bathroom in the dark, switched on the light and tried to open my eyes. I got to it after a while and realized that I can hardly see anything clearly. I washed my eyes as best as I could and it still hurts. Since there wasn't anything I could do about it, I went back to bed and tried to sleep. But all I could do was just lay on the bed and cried. I wasn't really crying either since it's not an emotional thing. The tears kept falling and in the end, I just cried myself to bed.

This morning, I woke up just a few minutes before my alarm clock rang. I tried to open my eyes and it was sealed shut with my dried tears. So I peeled open slowly and all I saw was a blurry image of my room. I thought I should try to adjust my eyes to the dark first so I hide under my blanket and opened my eyes. I could then open my eyes and tried to look around my room. It was still a little blur but decided to just get to work. Took my bath, washed up and I put on my glasses. I realized that it's still blur. That sucks. So I took a deep breath, peeled my eyes open and tried my best to put on my contacts without crying.

Got to work this morning wishing that I had stayed home. Unfortunately I've already made the cultures to prepare electrocompetent cells and I don't want to delay anymore as time is already running out. Felt better after a while but I still have to wear my sunglasses every once in a while when my eyes get too tired. Can't look at the computer screen for long either. Definitely not gonna run any gel or extract any DNA today. Hopefully I get to finish these cells early and get back into my room, close all the curtains and just stay in the dark.

Lesson learned..prevention is better than cure. Goggles shall be worn at all times when utilizing any equipment that emits UV light.

an unfortunate event

Barbeque, originally uploaded by lilsQuirr3l.

The past Sunday was just like any other Sunday except that this time I went to look at a car. I got home around 7.30pm, do some small things here and there and came online to check my mails. The moment I signed in to MSN Messenger, CY messaged me. His housemate, Lim Jiang Wei was pronounced dead due to drowning. His exact words was that 'his body is in the hospital'. I thought that he was in a serious condition in the hospital so I said "wish him get well soon for me" when he was leaving for the hospital. That's when he told me, "No, he died". I was stunned. I didn't know what to say. This shouldn't be happening. He's the only son in the family, he has yet to see his parents for quite sometime, he was just having fun, he's only one semester or rather two classes away from graduation and he's a great friend to have around. It's just not fair.

I am not very close to him but we've hanged out a few times together with other Malaysians. I have came to know that he's fun and he's good at bowling. The last time we met was during a picnic event followed by bowling. He was really good at the game but was not boastful at all. Adeline and me were not playing that night as we are really bad at it. So he sat by us between his turns and explain the game to us. It was a fun night. On Sunday, I was just asking CY if he's gonna move in with him soon as he's still bunking over at another friend's place. Just hours later...the news got to us.

The official news came out on Monday in Muskegon Chronicle and on Tuesday in State News. Earlier today at 4pm, a memorial service was organized by the Office of Internatial Students and Scholars to honor him. His close friends had made a website to remember him. Although I wasn't very close to him, knowing that I have the opportunity to cross-path with him makes me feel very lucky. It was also very nice of the Engineering department to grant him his Bachelor's of Science in Engineering. Unfortunately, they had to present it to his parents.

May God bless Jiang Wei...you'll always be remembered in our memories.