be careful....

Don't say you haven't been warned...but there are people outside the 'clan' of the Schmeznak lab that says we're nuts. Are we? Maybe..when you look up to the 6th floor window on the North side of the Biomedical and Physical Sciences building at MSU. You'll see shadows of people frustratingly pulling out their hair. So are we really doing science here? Hmmm...maybe not. Especially when it's 3am in the morning and your bugs seem to be taking their own sweet time to grow. So why don't we just go home? Because they love creeping up behind our backs when we're asleep..and when we get back to lab, guess what!..they have grown past a few doubling time that they are no longer useful to us anymore. But, life is all about survival of the fittess..so we'll get through this but we need our window friends with us...which somehow makes us the 'crazy ones' in the department. Ahahahaha.... *wink*

Hakuna Matata

Who in the right mind would plan out three growth experiments in a row? Well..now you know one. When the week started, I was set to make my week as busy as possible so that I can avoid thinking about some upsetting stuff. At that time, the idea sounded great - I'll get lots of data by the end of the week and I'll be so busy I won't have time to think about anything else except about work. But then somewhere in the middle of the week, Ping realized that it's the week MBL application is due, that she already bought ticket for Friday night's Lion King, and most importantly, Chinese New Year is at the end of the week!!! and she have yet to finish all the CNY cards she intend to send home yet.

Consequently, it's now Friday night or to be more specific, Saturday morning and Ping is still in the lab, just at the start of the last growth experiment for the week...maybe even for the next week. But thankfully, all the sleepless nights spent in the lab allowed Ping to finish up the cards and they were sent on Thursday. Hopefully they'll reach home before CNY ends. Ping also managed to get all the paperwork done for MBL application with expected fundings from the department (yahoo!!!). Mailed it late this afternoon and it should be on its way to Woods Hole by tomorrow.

The Lion King Broadway musical play was really good but I don't think kids would appreciate it very well...definitely something unexpected. I thought it was gonna be 'cartoon-like' but it's not that at all. In fact, I think it was really amazing how they include all the South African theme into the musics and characters. I like Rafiki among all the characters but Pumba is really cute too. While the show was great, I can't help feeling homesick when I remembered that the Lion King is one of the few movies that I had went to the cinemas to watch with my parents and cousins. I can hardly remember the movies that I watched with my parents as it was so rare...and I really miss spending time with my parents doing fun stuff. That led me to thinking about the Disney World trip I took with my parents when they came here to attend my commencement in 2004. That definitely feels like a long long time ago. The picture above was taken at Animal Kingdom during one of the parade they had. I couldn't remember if they had Pumbaa but I sure took lots of pictures with Rafiki.

Quoting from the Lion King, "It's a circle of life and it moves us all through despair and hope, through faith and love, till we find our place on the path unwinding in the circle, the circle of life". I really like this phrase. Reminding me that nothing is permanent in life. Happiness is shunted when there's sadness and there'll be negativity trying to take over our optimism but we always stay in the circle by seeking happiness and making the best out of the negativity. When there's too much negativity, then we have to remember - Hakuna Matata - no worries..let us not dwell on it and move on!

But for tonight, Ping is definitely dwelling on all the good food and family occasion that Ping is missing out..grrr...sleep is definitely a way to get back on track this time. Soon...few more hours...

Sudoku

What's the best thing to past time when you have to take optical density (OD) readings every hour throughout the night? It's too short of an interval to nap, too tired to read anything scientific, there's not a whole lot to surf on the net after a while...we solve Sudoku puzzles!!! I've been trying to solve the puzzle above for the past hour and still haven't gotten any closer to finishing any cube. This is the hardest I've done so far. I know I know..some of us could finish this in a minute or so but I just got started.

What is Sudoku? It is simply a number puzzle. As seen above, it has 9 large cubes with 9 small cubes within it. The goal of the game is to fill up all the boxes with numbers, so that every row, every column and every large cube has the numbers 1-9. It became really popular sometime end of last year but I did not realize it until I went to California. I first saw it in the airport bookstore..then at the Disney store...then the bookstores..and it was everywhere after that. When class started a few weeks ago, they started adding the Sudoku puzzle in the State News. That was it for me. I just had to try one and find out what's going on with the Sudoku buzz. My first one led me to the next..and the next..now, I even finds the puzzles online. Yup, it is that addictive. Try solving one and you'll get hook. The ones published in State News are short enough to last throughout my bus ride when I have to take the bus. But on nights like tonight, the harder ones are more tempting.

And there are soooooo many of them that it's amazing how it became so popular that fast. Check out these sites if you get hook on them like me...they have new puzzles everyday.

1. Online Sudoku
2. Downloadable Sudoku
3. Sudoku in pdf format
4. If you like a little challenge...

There's tons more!!! Gotta go get my next reading...have fun!

lab phylogeny

It's been a month since Dr. Breznak officially retired. The Breznak's and Schmidt's lab have worked together since Dr. Schmidt joined MSU in 1982..the year I was born!! Dr. Breznak was one of the professor whose work had drawn me to MSU. I was always intrigue by the symbiotic relationship between eukaryotes and prokaryotes. Unfortunately, he was already planning for retirement when I joined MSU. But when I joined the Schmidt lab, I had the opportunity to interact with him and I sure was excited to have a well-known scientist critique my work and ideas. Since we work so closely with each other, we call ourselves the Schmeznaks. Wertiplasma suffocatus is the last graduate student of Dr. Breznak and he will be graduating soon. Then it'll just be the Schmidt lab.

The phylogeny shown above is drawn by Jake as a retirement gift for Dr. Breznak. Isn't it awesome? Most of the characters do resemble the real person. My immediate boss is Schmidtaceae ribosomerus. Currently, I'm the newest lab member and most of them are on close to graduation or post-docs except for Levinella methanophage who is one year my senior. If we don't get any new graduate students this year, it's gonna a lot less people by the time I'm done with my exam end of next year. Just incase some of you wonder what 'brevis' means..it means short...coz I'm the shortest in the lab AND my height is below average for the Americans.

Kelps

While walking along the beach of Santa Cruz and Carmel during my trip to California, I encounter lots of kelps lying all over the beach. At that time I didn't know what it was until I was on the plane and started to think about this extraordinary looking plant. It has a bulb filled with stuff and I was wondering what it was at that time because you could burst it but no liquid comes out.

So I search for it on Entrez Pubmed and I found tons of stuff about this algae. The bulb is actually filled with gases that allow the plant to grow upwards and float at the surface of the oceon to obtain sufficient light for photosynthesis. What is more interesting, the major gas found within the bulb is carbon monoxide!! There are life form that can tolerate such high concentration of carbon monoxide! Isn't that interesting?

The current focus on kelp is the engineering of kelp into a marine bioreactor. In early 1990s, there are lots of researchers who pursue the capability of converting kelp biomass into fuel using bacteria such as methanogens that are capable of assimilating carbon monoxide and converting it to methane gas. I wonder what happen to these studies..couldn't find anything that is more recent than 1995. But isn't it cool that an algae can provide an alternative to the current fuel shortage that we're facing today?

Besides being an interesting subject to study, kelp is also used for food - natural salt in bonito shavings, a substitute of spirulina, alginate from kelp is used as a stabilizer in ice-cream and guess what.. Gaia Research, a South African company which provides probiotics for one of the labs here at MSU, is also looking into using kelp as an adjuvant to promote maintenance of intestinal flora.

crazy week

It's the first week of class and things are starting to get crazy already. It all started on Monday when I realized that the dateline for MBL Microbial Diversity course is February 1st. That means I have less than 3 weeks to apply for funding and submit it in time. So there goes my entire Monday just preparing proposals and 'selling' myself to the department, the College of Natural Sciences and the Graduate School.

Tuesday came and it started with another crazy morning. I was the earliest in the lab and Tom came in looking for my help - to get the projector ready for class in an hour and to make copies of notes. I was glad to help but turn out that I was the last to get to class but guess what...the guy I have a crush on is in that class too! What a coincidence! Just as I was saying I haven't seen him in a long time and that it's gonna be impossible to know him any more than just his name and who's lab he works in. In fact, I saw him twice that day. After class, I got enough time to run a gel and had to go TA for an undergraduate microbiology lab. It wasn't so bad since it's just the first lab but I kinda have the feeling that it's gonna be the one and only lab that we will get to leave on time.

The entire week was spent trying to get some lab work done and editing the proposals after getting comments back from everyone who read it. But on Thursday, the weather was soooooooo nice out - it was 45F!! - that I just had to go cycle around the campus. It's like spring! I don't even need my winter coat. It's been such a strange winter this year. We haven't had many freezing cold days where your ears hurt and you can't stand being outside at all. Actually, I've been here in Michigan for 5 years and I haven't had 2 winters that are similar. Michigan weather is just so unpredictable.

Unfortunately, the scenery doesn't seem to correlate very well with the temperature. Most of the days are just gray and dull. We haven't been getting much snow either. Now I really do understand why people feel more suicidal when they don't get to see much sun...thankfully I have enough sun in my memory - got enough happy hormones - not to feel suicidal. The crappy weather is making me miss my one day trip to Carmel, CA. J brought me there when I was at San Jose.



I can just imagine myself leaning against the rock, listening to the waves smashing on the beach, feeling the breeze of the Pacific Ocean. I just love being close to water and being part of nature. But for now, I'll just treasure the rare sunny days we get here in Michigan, or at least, in Lansing.

Pears

One of the things from home that I miss most is the tropical fruits. Sometimes I get bored eating the fruits here but thankfully, my favorite fruit - oranges - are available all year round and almost everywhere.

During late winter, as spring is around the corner, peaches and plums are very popular but I don't favor plum very much because some of them tend to be sour. As the summer approach, cherries and berries are the fruits of the season. I love bing cherries but they are a tad too expensive for fruits. Strawberries then is my next choice and the best way to eat them is to dip them in chocolate. Yum yum..

When it comes to Fall, apples are all over the place in grocery stores and farms but I don't like apple. Some of them is nice when it's crunchy but they are definitely not my fruit of choice. In fact, the last time I went apple picking, I gave all of them to my lab-mates. I prefer the crunchy, juicy grapes but too much grapes make me feel bad. There are also watermelons and honey dew but I don't really feel like making a mess in my kitchen since the biggest knife I have can hardly reaches the middle of the watermelon here. They are huge!!

While all these fruits are available according to the season, oranges is what I buy all the time. But sometimes, I can't help craving for guava (especially the pink guava - jambu air - in rojak sauce), mangosteen, rambutan, ciku, star fruit and pears. There are pears here but they are the green, hard and less juicy ones. I like the yellow pears we get at home - also known as 'la ya' in Hokkien. It's so juicy and sweet that I could eat pears all day long and not have anything else. Mum used to go to Bandar Sunway market when we were staying at Sunway and buy lots of them and it'll be gone in 2 days. They usually come in a basket of 10-13 and it only cost RM3-4. It's the best fruit when you're hot and thirsty.

When I saw this Korean pear at the Korean market yesterday, I just can't help putting a few in my basket although it cost USD1.50 per pear. Can you imagine that??? But I told myself it would be a nice treat for myself since I haven't been spending much over the past week. Furthermore, that's the first time I've seen it in Michigan. Of course, if I had brought a bigger luggage to San Francisco, I would have bought back a dozen or two of it. Keke..

But I'm just so happy to be able to eat the pears (they even come in the white spongy wrap like the ones we find in the market back in M'sia) that I just don't see the ridiculous cost of it yet. It is still not as good as the yellow pear we get at home but this is close enough for now. Hehe..

Happy New Year!!

It's less than 6 hours to the New Year and it doesn't feel like the year is coming to an end. It's so quiet out here there's just nothing to remind me that a new year is coming. But coming online and opening Mozilla, the first thing I see on my Homepage - CNN.com - is the countdown celebration at Sydney, Australia. Wow..that sure looks like lots of fun. Fireworks, party, intoxication, music, chaos, etc...

So what have I done this year? Dad used to tell me that we have to celebrate everyday instead of when there's a big celebration, that we have to make every little detail in our life an accomplishment because it's a step towards our goal and it's learning how to life the moment. So let me rewind back my days of 2005.

- managed to maintain summa cum laude
- finished constructing the plasmid required to test my hypothesis
- travelled to Atlanta, GA, Chandler, AZ, and the latest, San Francisco, CA
- started my holiday scrapbook
- recovered very well from the breakup a year ago..yeah..it takes a year but hey, I did it!
- get to know a few more friends here in Lansing
- learned to format my laptop!!
- survived a car accident...yeah, this is definitely something to hurray about
- read the most articles ever!

...and few other little things. Now, what's my goal for this year? Not gonna set any resolution this year since my resolution last year only lasted 3 months. But the reality plans are...

- have my first committee meeting in April
- improve my teaching skills by the end of the semester
- overcome my driving phobia especially when turning left
- have both fun and science at Woods Hole
- pass my preliminary exam by November

... and of course, the little things too. But what to do to spend the rest of 2005 away? No party, no getting intoxicated..well, maybe a little Marguerita before I go to bed (*wink), no crazy atmosphere, no hot, sexy dude (not like there has been any.. *blush*) but guess what I can do...finish reading The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown. Yup! That's what I'm gonna do while people all over the nation countdown to 2006. Have been meaning to read it for quite sometime but never did got my hands on it. While I was at J's place, I saw it sitting on his bookshelf and asked him about it. But he gave it me instead so now there's no reason that I should skip it again.

So while the busy cities celebrate the night away with fireworks and loud parties, I'll enjoy my peace and having the time to read. I will not let anything interfere...everything else can wait till tomorrow.

Tour Guide

Just got back from California yesterday. Still in holiday mood when I was back home but coming in to the lab did boost my nerdy spirit a little. Refreshed all my cultures to get them going again for experiments I plan this coming week.

Back to my trip to California..the plane ride there wasn't very fun because I was really tired from the night before so I slept all the way. But the moment the plane touch down at San Francisco International Airport and I saw fresh green grass, I was so excited. That's the sad thing about being here in the MidWest - you only get to see fresh greenaries half of the year. From the airport, took the Bart Metro System, which is the subway system in San Francisco Bay Area, to Montgomery Bart Station, which is right in the middle of the town area. Walked from there to Broadway, which is where Green Tortoise Hostel is located. In the afternoon, it's a boring place. Not many of the shops are open so I walked to Grant St., which is the main street of Chinatown. The picture below is the popular arch in Jackie Chan movies. It's at the main entrance into Chinatown section of Grant St.


While walking along Grant St., I feel like I'm in Hong Kong. Everyone speaks in Cantonese and it seems like the Americans there are the foreigners instead of the other way around. There are shops with Chinese characters, shops selling the traditional medicine similar to those in M'sia, shops selling clothes that are really low prices, Asian markets that sells all kind of vegetables - brinjal!! - seafood restaurants, dim sum and shops selling electrical goods like cameras. The electrical shops kinda remind me of HK and the way they con people. I wonder if they do that here too. hehe..

I also saw this little tour guide here. It is called the GoCar. It can sit 2 people and it has a Global Positioning System (GPS) that brings you around the town. J and me were walking around at Golden Gate Park and we heard this GoCar that tells you about the place that you're at. Initially I thought it was a speaker from the park. But J saw the car and we figured it's the car. Isn't it cool? But I'm sure it must be costly to rent that. I also wonder if it is powerful enough to go up the slopes of SF. All the roads there are very hilly - kinda like the road near SM Taman Sea in PJ.



From this picture, you can also see the shop selling traditional chinese costumes. There are lots of shops that sell these costumes and fans, clogs, chinese-themed furnitures and decors.

More to come...

just zipit

I found this bag, called Zip-It, in the mall a couple of weeks ago and have yet to use it. It came in a small roll of zip and I thought it is kinda unique. When you zip it up, it becomes a bag or a small coin purse, depending on how long the roll of zip is.

I got the one that I can sling across my shoulder and can zip it up. I bought a few coin purse too just because I think it can be a nice gift whenever I would need one.

I will be going to San Francisco for a short trip tomorrow and I thought of this bag. It's small enough to be carried around and large enough for me to fit some necessary stuff like camera, purse, maps, hand lotion, lip balm, napkins, keys etc. It's also easy to carry since I can just sling it across my shoulder.

I have been waiting all month for this trip. I've been wanting to go to SF for quite some time but never did have the money for it and don't really know people around there. So now that I am earning my own money and have been working so hard all this year, I figured that I do need a good break, just to get away for a while, to relax and refresh myself. I'll be staying at a hostel and travel by myself so it would still be within my budget. Furthermore, the hostel I'll be staying is right in the middle of the city and it's walking distance to most of the places that I want to visit. At the same time, I get to visit J whom I haven't seen for almost 7 years I think.

~excited~

MSU vs. CSU

What to do on Friday night after finals is done? Initially I planned to stay home and watch movies but guess what..I got free tickets to the MSU vs. CSU basketball game!! Would I pass that up? Of course not!

My boss had to leave town for some meeting and his boys have their own basketball game to play in so he gave me and BC each two tickets. I asked MW to go with me and it was fun to have BC and his room-mate there because they knew all the 'rituals' to the game. They taught us how to clap to the Spartan Fight Song, to some of the cheerleaders songs and some of the cheers like the 'Go Green, Go White'.

Initially, the game was kinda confusing because the CSU Vikings were green and I'm used to seeing us in green. But eventually I got the hang of it when I realized which numbers were our players. We started out good but the guys start to miss hoops and drop the ball towards the end of the first period. Sometime during the second period we starting winning and ended at 83-75.

After the game, we brought CY to Denny's for his last American meal. He should be in KL by today.

~funtimes~

last exam

The snow have been around for a while now. The fresh falls are always pretty and refreshing but after staying down for a couple of days, they start to get annoying and depressing. Yesterday was one of the days..the temperature was not low enough for them to stay frozen so lots of them starts to melt and it makes the road slippery because the snow now become like a slush. Imagine someone spill 10 cups of 7-Eleven slush on the floor and we would have to walk over it. It doesn't get better later in the day when it started snowing again because the snow melts once it touches the ground. Walking on such weather is the worst but it's one of the days when I have lots of errands to run too..but hey, this is Michigan. Cycling is even worse because all the dirty snow will be splashed around and dirty my back. You would think I'm used to it by now but some things we just can't seem to adapt to..especially the cold skin-slicing wind.

Just finished writing my cheat sheet for Statistics exam in 4 hours. It's my last finals!! Don't have to go through general classes anymore!! I do enjoy the class but sometimes they just require so much attention that I have to sacrifice some of my research time and it makes me frustrated that research is going so slow. But I've come this far, 4 hours is worth the wait. I'll be soo relieved after this exam I can start concentrating on my research and hopefully I can get enough stuff done to be able to go to Woods Hole next summer.

~anxious~

he appears again...

August of 2004 was when I first saw him. I walked into class on the first day and he's sitting right there, leaning back on the chair with a face so cheerful that you can't help feeling delighted. As the semester passes by, we exchanged only a few 'hi and bye' kinda conversation. But having him in the class was a plus because it just brightens my day even though we never really talk.

When the semester ended, I never did see him again as he's not in my department. May 2005 came and off to Atlanta I went for the ASM Conference. It was there in Atlanta, during the MSU Mixer session that I got a chance to really talk to him and get to know a little about his work here at MSU. But that was it. We never exchanged any contact number or e-mail.

Yesterday, we had a seminar by the environmental microbiology candidate, Dr. Gemma Reguera. She already started her talk and the door opened...it was none other than this cute guy. But the one thing that touched me was - he looked my way and said hi! Not only that but after the seminar, as we were leaving, he looked back before leaving and waved again. That sure made my day!!

Isn't life amazing? How can a simple gesture like that made my day? When I hardly know that person? How can just being near the person makes me want to know him more? But will I ever get to know him more? We're from two different world..he's in the most prestigious lab on campus..not that my lab is not a great place, it is..but compared to his..it looks small. Does he ever think about me? Does he know that when he's around the corner, he lights up my day?

~bubbly~

Koala's Chocolate Cookies

Ever get addicted to a particular food? I get that often. I will crave for that food and keep eating it for a few weeks and will eventually get bored of it. Then I'll start to find something else that I become addicted to. Lately, it's the Koala's March chocolate filled cookies. I saw it at one of the oriental mart here in Lansing and wanting to keep some biscuits at home, I bought it. There are 10 small packets in this big box. Each packet has about 10 -15 cookies. After my first packet, I couldn't stop eating it. I just had to grab another packet. I managed to stop myself after the third packet...and there goes my lunch because I'm too full of junk food to eat lunch. But I've managed to keep my hands from getting more during the weekday since I only grab it when I get on the bus. That way, I won't have more to grab.

Wonder how long this craving will last before I get sick of it....

Liang Jin Ru

I usually don't buy cds at their original price but sometimes, we do things without thinking..a spur of the moment kinda action. I'm sure all of us have done something like that before right? It was one weekend when I just missed listening to this song so much and I couldn't find it on the net to download any. I had also stopped using Kazaa or any of those mp3 downloading programs since I won't be able to deal with any virus or spyware attack on my laptop. So I went to yesasia.com and bought the first cd of Liang Jin Ru - The Power of Love Songs (恋爱的力量 ) that I saw with the two songs that I wanted to listen to so badly. It's been two weeks since I received it and I have been playing it every single day. The cd is still in my laptop, haven't moved it since I popped it in the very day I received it.

I used to tease BK for listening to the same cd again and again as though there's no other songs to listen to and here I am doing the same thing. But I have yet to feel bored listening to it and for some reason, the two songs in there just seems to be very meaningful to me at this moment. One of the songs, 我喜欢, remind me of the simple days when life was so perfect, when we didn't have to ask for more, when I wanted the clock to stop ticking and freeze the moment. The other, 如果有一天 , makes me think about second chances and memories that occurred while this song was playing in the background. A question that we were both thinking of but neither dared to ask because we both knew and still know that there's no answer to that. But dare I hope that a wish so impossible will come true? Not exactly but I don't want to lose hope that one day I'll get back what I lost.

Thanksgiving break

Steamboat3, originally uploaded by lilsQuirr3l.

It's been a very unproductive break but one that is desperately needed. The holiday actually started on Wednesday, the eve of Thanksgiving day. Everyone in the lab left by 3pm and it was snowing heavily outside, making the atmosphere in the lab even less appealing. I wanted to be out there in the snow, taking pictures, feeling the snow falls onto my palm and the cold breeze of the night, which was not too cold. But I stayed in the lab until 5pm when S and CY came to pick me up for steamboat dinner at G's house.

G prepared steamboat..one I haven't had for a very very long time. The last one I could remember was at JL's house at Westbrook, Kalamazoo during CNY of 2003. That was when we found out JL has feeling for SC. It was revealed over a game of truth or dare I think...or maybe it was over a card game. I couldn't really remember but it was a very fun night. Simple with just a few of us close friends. Those were the days when everything was perfect even though life was hard.

But this year's steamboat has a very comfortable atmosphere too. It was just G's family, MW, S, CY, EF and me. We helped out with some of the dishes and set the table. G made both the spicy and plain soup. We had lots of fish/sotong/shrimp/pork balls, chicken, shrimp (!!!), quail eggs (!!!..I miss this soooooo much!!) and few other dishes. She even baked marble cake for dessert.

After dinner we helped put away the dishes and adjourn to the hall to play Mario 6 on Nintendo Game Cube. That was fun..but only when I was watching. I did so badly in the game that I hardly survive till the end of it. That shows how good I am with controller that has the joystick mode. I still prefer Playstation or GameBoy. I was glad I went as I had a good time and it's rare to get to meet these people with all our busy schedules.

Thanksgiving05e, originally uploaded by lilsQuirr3l.

On Thanksgiving Day, CY, S and me went over to TT's house for late turkey lunch. She cooked a huge 5 lb plus turkey, mashed potatoes, green beans, wild rice and cream puffs for dessert. It was all great. We watched Jay Chou's Initial D over lunch and I'm glad I went too. Compared to last year's Thanksgiving, this year's Thanksgiving is definitely more happening. But the best Thanksgiving I had was sometime during college days at WMU. There was a big party over at Edmund's place. We had tons of food, but at that time, the best was SP's curry puff and CP's banana pistachio nut cake...other than the turkey of course. After all the noise and excitement during the party, BK and me had a quiet night watching a movie on his pc.

After lunch at TT's place, S dropped me off at UL's place for Thanksgiving dinner. Can you imaging how much food that is??? But dinner at UL's place is vegetarian since they are Jewish but the food were definitely unique. R, UL's wife made wild-rice stuffed squash which I really liked because she had pecans in them. Of course, the best was the pecan pie! After dinner we played a few games of Dominoes and I won during the last round!! UL dropped me off back home and I finally got a chance to talk to M. He came back from Washington for Thanksgiving dinner at his grandparent's place. He was suppose to pick me up for dinner there but his flight back to Detroit was delayed and he didn't want to miss dinner so I said it's okay, we can meet the next time he gets back or when I go to Woods Hole next year. So I had a nice night talking to him and even got a chance to talk to BK too.

Now, I just want to have a quiet Sunday, finish up some of the work I plan to finish before Monday and have some time with myself.

is it finally over?

Yesterday, I was organizing my schedule and planned to make this weekend free to catch up with work that I've missed.
- update my Statistics notes
- prepare my presentation for Tuesday
- read up the articles I've been meaning to
- cook something healthy
- and of course, some myself time

But had to push them back to tomorrow. S needs help moving to Detroit. I volunteered to help out since I don't really know that many M'sians here and I feel that it's nice to help among few of us that are left. It's also kinda nice to be hanging out with friends than to just stay home and be solitary. S came to pick me up at 8am this morning, went to her place to move the stuff into the cars and left for Detroit by 11am.

Her place is awesome!! It's exactly the kind of place I would love to get when I get a job and plan to settle down. She has two bedrooms, lots of closet spaces (!!!), her own dryer and laundry in the kitchen and of course a lovely dressing area. It's also a very nice and quiet neighborhood. Came back to Lansing at 2.30pm and CY dropped me off at the lab for me to take a picture of my SDS-PAGE gel. They came to pick me up at 3pm back to S and CY's place. S cooked udon noodle which was really good although it looks simple. Chat a little while after the meal and CY fetched me back to my place.

While it's just a simple day with friends, it feels comfortable. I did not kept thinking about things I need to do. No, it's a not a way to neglect my responsibilities. I know I have to work extra hard tomorrow to catch up but I think it's worth to spend the time with them. At the mean time, I also came to realize a few things. While moving, CY would watch out for me when I'm carrying something really heavy. He would carry it for me, pointing me to something lighter or help me out. It's not easy to find a guy like this anymore. He's not making me feel useless and yet he's being a very gentleman. I was also having a runny nose because of the warm weather today and he kept asking me if I'm okay. Before we left for Detroit, I told him that I have to go back to lab to get something done before the end of the day. Right when we arrive Lansing, he brought me straight back to the lab and insisted that he comes back to pick me up to get something to eat after that.

Where can we find guy friends who are so caring and aware? It's all these little things they do that catches my attention. Lots of guys think that if they get expensive stuff for their girls or if they bring them for an expensive dinner, their girl will be happy. But are the girls really happy that way? I remember FY used to shower me with all kinds of gifts. But what happened to us? Nothing. He didn't know how to show his feelings, or at least I didn't get it since I didn't think that feelings should be depicted through materials. Later, when BK came along, he wasn't the type of guy who buys lots of gifts, not even during big occasions. But he knew the little things that makes me happy. That's the one characteristic that made me freeze right there in his arms. For a long time, I thought that guys like this don't exist anymore. But today, CY reminds me that I'm wrong.

Today CY asked me how's things going between BK and me. I said that I hardly think about him and I don't sacrifice sleep and work to talk to him anymore. I also don't get upset so easily when he says things that seems like he didn't care. When I said it out loud, I realized that it's been a long time since I got upset over him, that it's been a long time I stayed up late hoping to see him come online and talk to him, that it's been a long time I toss the phone from my left palm to my right palm thinking if it's okay to call him, that I cry myself to bed thinking about all the things we could have done and of course, thinking how could he walked away at the time I needed him most. Does this means that it's finally over? Hmm.. I think he'll always be part of me since we've spent most of our teenage years together but it's time to close that chapter of my life and move on. Today, CY showed me that BK is not the only guy whom I can describe as 'my type'. He may not realized that he opened my eyes but if you happen to stumble upon this some day, thanks CY! At least for the next month I have someone to hang out with and still be myself.

It's snowing!!!

This is my fifth winter and it still amaze me to see the first few specs of snow. It was forecasted to snow sometime this week but I didn't expect it to start snowing in the afternoon. I stepped out of the building to cycle to class and I feel this soft ice clumps falling down. It's just such a wonderful feeling to be out there when it's snowing. It is still snowing heavily right now and the view from my lab window is just indescribable. Everything is white and the buildings stand out looking old but classic while the dim street lights brighten the path here and there.

Wonder if I'll ever be bored of snow...if not maybe I can stay here for a long long time :P

Carpe diem

Novsquirrelh, originally uploaded by lilsQuirr3l.

It's almost three weeks since the crashed and it still haunts me every now and then. These past few weeks have change my life a great deal. There's just so many signs telling me that I gotta slow down and treasure life. Time seems to passing through the gaps between my fingers without me actually feeling it.

When I spent the past Saturday hanging out with CY, I realize that I said lots of stuff that ended with 'I haven't done it in a long time'. The last time I went to the mall was about 4 months ago. The last time I went to a restaurant I like was about the same time too. The last time I took a walk around the campus was that long too. It all happened before I got the car. Ever since I got the car, I buried myself in work. I knew I could go home late at night, I could come in during the weekends, I could start early in the morning before even the sun comes up and I could even stay overnight. I kept working and working without taking a break. I got something I wished for but I took life, nature, and health for granted.

I haven't been online long enough to blog surf for quite sometime too and when I started doing that sometime this weekend, the first blog I got too was Tales of Zbjernak's entry on how a fish jumped out of the fish bowl to experience the life he could only see through the bowl. It's like before I got the car, I wanted to go places at times I like and not having to wait for the bus. Or to drive a long distance and just enjoy the scenery. But did I do any of that when I finally got the car? Nope. Every weekend was spent in the lab. I did not even go to the mall that is further away.

I also learned from the movie Saw2 that I just watched this past weekend. There's a line somewhere in there by Jigsaw who says that life is meant for those who treasure it (not the exact line..but you got the meaning). I totally agree with him. Thinking back, unfortunate things usually happens when we take something for granted. True, sometimes it's just plain bad luck. But I still believe that things happen for a reason.

I've been given a second chance and I am gonna make good use of it. Again, I believe that there is a reason my life was spared on that Saturday which I planned to work all day when I could have stayed home and catch up with time. From today on, I pledge to live a balanced life! Not gonna spend my entire weekend here in the lab anymore. Well..at least not all weekend. Gonna work hard and play hard! Just like this squirrel right here. It knows that it has worked it's way high enough to be safe from being attacked so right now it's just gonna stay there and enjoy it's view. There's still a long way to achieve what I want in life but I believe that the strength and motivation in me will guide me through a path of colors. Carpe diem!

Isn't fall lovely?

RedCedarNov05e, originally uploaded by lilsQuirr3l.

Had a chance to relax a little today and went for a walk around campus with CY to take some pictures of the Fall season. This is my favorite season of the year. It's comfortable enough to walk around without having to bundle myself in thick, bulky, suffocating winter coat that makes me look like a sack of potatoes and not warm enough to make me sweat after 10 minutes of walk. The scenery is also very breath-taking and makes me stop to remember that life is beautiful if we just take some time, pause from our busy schedule to appreciate what we've been blessed with. I also loves to see the colors of the leaves change from red to orange then to yellow and finally brown before they fall off. The picture above was taken from a bridge looking down to Red Cedar River, a river that runs across MSU, separating into the north campus and south campus. It’s a really beautiful addition to the campus but unfortunately, the pollution level of the river is beyond repair.

After the walk, we went for lunch at Ria Restaurant, a new Chinese restaurant in Lansing that also serves Malaysian food. I ordered Char Kuey Teow which amazed me that it was close to home but unfortunately, my appetite disappeared halfway through as it was too oily. CY ordered nasi lemak and it was really good! I might actually get that the next time.

We went to watch Saw II after lunch. It was short but I would give it a rating of only about 2/5. It was gruesome and kept me in suspense but I still like Stigmata better. I then intended to get a winter coat after the movie but I ended up buying two sweaters, a vest and a top which I don't need. Not forgetting, a GameBoy Advance game, A Series of Unfortunate Events. But since I haven't shop for 3 months or so, I think it is acceptable right?? :P