Haven't had the chance to update for quite sometime. I was trying to change the look of my blog but before I got to change anything, I had to borrow my laptop to my uncle. Was also away in KL for the past two days. It was a very short trip meant to meet up with some old friends.
Got a ride from BK to KL. I was afraid it was gonna be awkward because I didn't really know what to chat with him and plus we just had an argument just the night before about who's being understanding. But after the first half an hour or so, the tension seemed to disappear into the air and it was actually comfortable. It felt okay to just be silent and enjoy the ride. It was also helpful that he seemed to remember some of the stuffs we used to share and it felt okay to talk about it with him. We went for dinner when we got to KL and he was soooooooo nice that he asked me to make the choice..I suggested Murni at SS2. We went there last year the night before I left for the States and I like the mango drink they have there.
He brought me back to my place after dinner and I wished so badly that we could have more time. But I know that no matter what I do..there's where it'll end. But I wasn't upset for long as I went out right after that to meet up with my friends from high school - EF, San, Irene, Kenny and Kas. We met at Ming Tian for a drink but it wasn't a lot of catch up since I was missing most of the stuff they talk about. Edmund ( a frequent anonymous commentor on my blog) came shortly after that and San, Irene, Kenny and Kas left. Edmund and me then left for Zouk.
Zouk was fun - drink and dance..what more can I ask for? Plus a really sporting guy by my side. But the crowd that was there kinda surprised me. It was a culture shock in my own country. But I shall not elaborate it here because I might be offending certain group of people.
Despite the fun I had that night, when the alcohol effects disappeared, I couldn't help thinking about the question BK asked me - Do I want to go over his place? I really wanted to but I know that it's not the right thing to do. It's wrong. Very wrong. But when he called me sometime around 1am..the urge to go over was even stronger. So after we left Zouk, Edmund brought me there. I guess at that point, only Edmund could understand how I felt because I know that if it's an outsider, that would be the most foolish thing I could do. But he never did looked at me a different way than he usually think of me. He respected my decision to go over.
I was at BK's place until 8am the next day. All the time, in my mind I kept telling myself it was wrong to be with him even if it's just sitting there next to him. But it felt right. It felt in place. It wasn't awkward. It was comfortable. He said it's okay. I told him that it's wrong. But he said that it feels right to him. The next thing I know, it was 8am and it's time for him to send me home. I was sad but I know that I should be happy because that was one more day with him when I can be myself. No more tears to flow down because I know that there are still things that need to be solved between us and the time is not here yet.
5 comments:
LOL,
a frequent anonymous user kekeke.
Yannadei, I can be an anonymous commentor too ;)
Don't put my name as E* F**, put it as EF :) I don't want to be Googleable ;)
You can call me Alexis, Christina, the big fat bear :) anything you want but my name :) on your blog that is :)
ah ha, thats how I found this blog site
EF: well, he's the most frequent one mer. Edited your name by the way. I don't have my name on either but somehow, Edmund manage to find it while googling my name. Don't ask me how.
wonder who's that other anonymous comment..hmm..
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