sar chap meh (CNY's eve)

*warning - this is a negative Ping post*

Ping's timing is a slightly lagging. Okay. Maybe it's 12 hours lagging. Or according to M'sia time, it's lagging one day.

Sar chap meh was yesterday. Woke up pretty late. Missed the reunion dinner (Reunion dinner is usually steamboat style, where we have all kinds of 'balls', seafood, noodles, etc.). Not just missed eating it but missed getting to wish everyone happy new year too. Can only see pictures of other people's reunion dinner. Everyone was about to leave when Ping finally got through ahdik. Briefly saw mum and se han ee. Ahdik had to fetch Air Itam ahmah home and bring his laptop with him. Kinda disappointed. So decided to go to lab and give Big Gorilla some tender loving care instead of stay home sulking. Being home alone on CNY's eve is just not fun. At least if Ping is in the lab, the excuse is she have to work.

Leaving home the first time is hard. But CNY was not really that bad when Ping was in K'zoo. The M'sian chinese group there is big. Panda was around. Even if there wasn't any hint of CNY, spending time with those crazy bunch was something to be content with. They always say that you'll get used to it. Six years. That's how many CNY Ping missed. From the first one where Ping is the only one missing it to now, the only third generation left is ahdik. The reunion dinner was done by 11pm. It's not even the new year yet!!! No hu-ha. No fire crackers. But at least ahdik is home.

It was definitely better in lab than at home. At least Ping got one BGE done. Read the lab manual for next week. Have a rough draft of the slides Ping have to present this week. And it is not one of those Saturdays where Ping don't talk to anyone at all 'coz Steph came in. After she left, Ping started venting the CO2 and that kept Ping busy for a while. Dinner time came and Ping decided to join the M'sian undergrads 'reunion dinner'. It was at Oodles of Noodles. Buffet style. It was just so-so. First of all, the food sucks. There's king crab leg. So? There's nothing 'chinesey' at all! It is all the regular American chinese food!

So Ping end up leaving early. And irritatingly, got all emotional about the day. Seriously, what is so big deal about CNY? Grrrrr!!!!! Consciously, you know that being homesick is a weakness. Why should you let yourself feel lonely? But subconsciously, your mind just won't listen. Even the tears that comes down. You want it to stop but it just annoys you even more and you get upset at yourself and ended up crying over that instead. And all negative thoughts enter your mind. Sometimes they seem to be so tempting. But what good can Ping do to go home halfway through with no pubs, no solid data, still insufficient with experience? Nope. Not good at all. So this better be worth it. Okay, maybe other people sacrifice a lot more. Maybe this is not a sacrifice at all. But to Ping, family is the most important thing. So it is a sacrifice to Ping. It better be good ending.

That dumb dinner got Ping thinking about the times after finals week when we would go to King Wok at K'zoo. That's the best buffet place Ping have been. They actually serve their food hot!! But the best thing there is their sushi and teriyaki stir-fry!! Those bunch of guys Ping used to go with...that's one of the most fun people Ping have met. We made fun of stuff back home, not talking about it negatively and plotting never to go back. Oh well...maybe it's the age thing. Ping have been here way too long.

Coming home all upset, decided to watch Episode 9 of KO One. There's always enough jokes in there to make Ping laugh. But, better still, Ping caught ahdik online. So ended up on the webcam till almost 3 am. Surprisingly, even got to talk to Panda. Short but it's the thought that matter right? So it was actually a pretty nice end to the day or beginning to today. Nice to see everyone all dressed up for the new year (although ahmah was in her khun sah!!!). Love the webcam! It totally make a difference to Ping.