Chili for dinner

It's Memorial day in US today. It is the day to remember those who died for the country (I know we have a similar day in M'sia but I am blank with the name right now. All I can remember is we'll get a form asking for donations on that day and I don't think we get a holiday right?). It is a public holiday here but as usual, it doesn't matter to grad students who does not have a family. So it's one of those days when we can take our own sweet time to do stuff and come home early to do other stuff.

Went in to lab this morning to get an experiment going. Came home to do laundry, clean my room and the kitchen. Went out again to Fenner Nature Center for a run. Got home pretty hungry and my fridge is pretty empty now since I don't want to top up groceries before I go to Boston (I take forever to finish food!). Looked into my pantry and found Hormel Chili! Before I came to the States, chili is the spicy pepper family fruit - cili padi, cabai burung, green chili, capsicum, cayenne - stuff like that. It was BK who first introduced me to this wonderful time saving dish. It is a mix of ground beef with kidney beans and tomatoes. Sometimes there's onions and green peppers but that's the basic ingredient. The good ones take a long time to prepare as the beef and beans have to be stewed with the tomatoes until it becomes really soft and mushy. He used to prepare the canned ones for dinner whenever I'm too lazy to cook or when we're in the mood for chili. I can always count on him for ideas when it comes down to canned food.

There are several versions of this dish. There's the ones with more gravy where it is used as a dip for tortilla chips or saltine crackers. I usually get this from Wendy's or from Sparty's. The one from Wendy's is definitely way better but I haven't gotten any since they closed all the Wendy's on campus. The other one is a thicker version. It is usually wrapped in soft tortilla shell and made into burrito. Some places serve them on angel hair pasta (spaghetti) and my favorite one is from Steak n Shake!! That's our hang out place during college days. It was a really nice group of people too but we have all gone our own separate ways...

That's what I made for dinner tonight. It is one of the fast and simple dinner dish. Just have to cook the spaghetti, place a piece of American cheese on top of the spaghetti and scoop some hot chili on top of the cheese. Since I don't have a good recipe for chili nor do I have the time to make them lately, I got the canned one from Hormel. I didn't have any American cheese either so I tore apart the string mozarella I have and placed them on the spaghetti. Yum yum!

vege for BBQ

BBQ is one of the most fun events one can have without too much work and cleaning up. Unfortunately, it is not a very healthy serving because most of the dishes are dark meat and there's high carbon if they are grilled for too long. Definitely missing healthy carbs from vegetables.

There was a BBQ event last week that MW wanted to have for his friends visiting from Oregon and Arizona. Since the guys had taken care of the main ingredients - hot dogs, chicken wings, fishball - I didn't want to bring chicken satay (which is what I usually make for BBQ) and corn and potatoes are kinda boring. Furthermore, it was held on a weekday and I didn't have time to marinate and skew up the chicken. Then I saw this advertisement for Reynolds foils. It was something about the lady saying why grill one at a time when you can wrap them up all in foil. So I thought of this vege packets and decided to give it a try.

It is simple to make but does take up a little time to wrap them up (but not as long as making chicken satay). I cut up green peppers, tomatoes and sweet onions. Mixed them up with paprika spice to give a little tinge of spicy. Then comes the red potatoes. I have to bake the potatoes so that it's half cook, which will save the time during BBQing. After cutting the pototoes, I sprinkle some garlic powder to bake it. I mix all the ingredients together with corn and carrots then wrap them up in a foil and they are ready to go. The sauce will come naturally from the tomatoes and onions as they warm up . I think it would even be better if we use banana peppers instead of green peppers. But that's because Ping is crazy over banana peppers - sometimes she just cuts them up and eat with rice!

You know what is another good vege dish for BBQ? Brinjal!! I used to dislike brinjal when growing up. Dad loves grilling them on hot plate after marinating with 'tau eu'. I only started liking brinjal when BK's mum had me try them when we were having dinner at Esquire Kitchen at Subang Parade (I wonder if it's still there...). They stir-fried their brinjal with a spicy sauce that is really good. Ever since that first taste, brinjal became one of my favorite vege. It is hard to find a good brinjal dish around here but I often grill them if I happens to find one at Meijer. Whenever I go home, I would ask grandma to get them and we'll grill them on hot plates again. I'm sure it'll be a great BBQ dish. But nothing beats the one served at Esquire Kitchen. :)

X-Men: The Last Stand

Watched it last night at Celebration! It's what all of us have been waiting for all week.

It was pretty good. I definitely like it but was kinda disappointed at the story line because my favorite character, Cyclops is now dead. Although Steph said that she's not too sure about that since they did not show it and Jean Gray did not mention what happened to him either except that she thinks she killed him. As for Jean Gray, I thought that Wolverine was going to jab her with the cure but...who knows? Furthermore, she had died and came back a couple of times in the comics (twice maybe?). It seems like there's a lot of story lines for the fate of Jean Gray and the Phoenix.

As for the short clip after the credits (yeah, we stayed until the end of the boring credits!!), does that mean there's going to be X4? Even though Halle Berry mentioned that she's not doing another X-Men movie? It was too short!!!

pansies

While the rain wash the fragile tulips away, it's time pansies start blooming. Similar to tulips, there are all kinds of different colors for pansies. These were taken at the Annual Gardens at MSU. I was having a 'writer's block' when trying to put together the short proposal that I want to give to my boss before starting the project. So decided to do my fave activity...photo shooting. Of course I'm not as professional as dad or Jase Lee but I just like to do it for fun.

As usual, Ping is fascinated with the blue colored ones. How many shades of blue can a species of flower have? Well, they may not be as diverse as bacteria but there's definitely enough to be amazed by nature's creation.

Some of the pics are not as good as I wanted it to be because there wasn't enough light. It was close to 8pm and it is still bright out but not enough to get good lighting to project the colors. The bushes at the side is blocking some of the light too.

There are also some blue tiny flowers known as Bluesylva. From far, it looks really pretty as it carpets the soil. Close by, it's just a regular 5-petals flower - one that we would commonly draw in Art class (which I used to hate so much, especially when we have to draw human or animals, and they have to be 2 periods!).

And the walk ended with a wonderful sunset...

Went back to lab all fresh to read and write again. :)

a night to myself...

Managed to get a couple hours of myself time. I know I should be reading up on RT-PCR but really wasn't in the mood. I was still kinda excited over my new medium. It's working!! My cells are growing healthy and at the rate that I am expecting although my transformed cells are still a little slow. But that's okay. As long as they are healthy, I'm happy.

So went back home early, take a long shower, and sat myself in front of the tv watching Cruel Intentions with a bowl of chicken wings from Bee-Dup. It's overnight chicken wings but it's still as good. Stopped by there on Tuesday where they have wings for 35cents. Isn't that awesome? Had a sudden craving for it this week. When I was at Western, we used to go there once in a while after I close up the library at mid-night or at 10pm, depending what day. BK would come pick me up and we'll drive over (it's known as BW3 at K'zoo) and get take-out wings. At one point, we kept ordering the wrong flavor that came out too spicy. I couldn't remember what it was and I was hoping I didn't get it this time. I got teriyaki (right) and spicy garlic (left). They are both really good although the spicy garlic sauce was a little too thick to my liking.

Bought 20 wings and there's still 6 left for tonight. You would think they look small and you can eat like 10 a day or something but I had 7 last night and I was stuffed. I've met a guy at Bee-Dup once when I went to watch a Piston game who could eat 20 at one sitting. Can you imagine that? I was impressed. Bee-Dup is a pretty nice place to go watch the NBA games but it gets kinda smoky sometimes so I don't go there very often. It can also get really noisy. Used to hang out with Dan there during the NBA season last year but since his gal got a residency up north, I haven't been back. I just get take-outs. They also have really smooth Long Island Ice-tea. It's so smooth that you totally don't feel a thing until you stand up and for me, everything tends to make its way out again. Yeah...alcohol and me just don't get along very well. But it is definitely one of the best Long Island around town!

what a day...

Came in this morning with lots of plans for the day. It was suppose to be a really productive Monday. It's the end of Monday and what have I done? Prepare 1 medium to grow my picky bacteria. I had to add 18 amino acids into the medium and I thought that I could just mix them up together. I started out by mixing histidine and tyrosine. Initially they look fine but after leaving it on the bench top for a while, they started to look milky. I filter-sterilized it and it looked fine again. But as before, it got milky after leaving it at room temperature for a short while. So I looked up the class of the 2 amino acids and guess what..one is polar and the other is ionic. Maybe some interaction is going on, causing them to 'fall-out' of the solution.

So I spent the next couple of hours rearranging the combinations, recalculating all the concentrations and amount I need. It was almost 6pm when I got done but had to go to the post-office to get some stamps and mail a letter before they close. Since the post-office is on my way home, I decided to just go home and get dinner before continue making my medium.

While I was home, I cleaned up the jacket and shoes closet and saw my new running shoes. It's the most expensive one I've ever bought - USD 35. Even that is half-price. I bought a sandal at that time and they were having a sale where we get to buy the 2nd one for half price. So I got this Nike shoe. I've only worn it once, which was during the Race for the Cure walk. I wanted to break it in before bringing it to Woods Hole with me. Just not too long ago, I refuse to buy Nike shoes because I always think that they are over-priced compared to New Balance or North Star, which are the shoes that are usually on sale at Bata. They are usually less than RM40 so I always think that it's impossible to get a shoe for USD10 here, I wait until I go home to get those shoes. But the last time I went home, I got a North Star for almost RM50. After conversion, double up the price and I can get a nice, comfortable shoe..why not? So I finally got a really expensive shoe. I can definitely think of someone telling me "see, told you earlier but you're so stubborn, don't want to get it". *grins*

There goes a pretty busy day but unproductive...

weekend shopping

Aiyoh..I'm not so nerdy to spend all weekend in front of my laptop trying to figure out how to change the outlook of one page lah. There's other fun stuff too.

On Saturday it was horror movie. For some reason, I've been watching a lot of horror movies everytime I go to the cinema. But I don't really like the new horror movies as much as the old ones like Stigmata or Exorcist. The new ones are more 'let's kill everyone' storyline that is kinda boring after too many of them. Even then, the preview for See No Evil looked good so went to Celebration! to catch the Saturday morning show. I thought it was pretty good but not totally scary. The one part that grossed me out is when the dogs started eating one of the character while she hangs upside down, still alive with blood dripping down from her brain. Urggghhh..

Today went to scope around at the Art Festival . Planned to get a pair of earrings but I ended up with 2 pair of earrings and a choker. They were kinda pricy but since they are locally made and every one is a unique one, I thought it was worth it. Got an earring with Persian stone from Izis Jewels, one with my birth stone and the choker from Wire Fire. The choker is pretty unique that it can be elongated into a necklace or tightened into a choker. It'll go perfect with my brown top I got from Kohls a few months back. There are also lots of booths selling posts with summer themes but I can't imagine why would anyone get it for their homes unless they own a summer bar or something like that. Like all Art Fest, of course there are the 'art' stuff, porcelains or wood work but Ping is only interested in the jewelleries. :)

Since the weather is also pretty nice, I took a walk around campus and it's refreshing to see the greeneries are back. And like always, Ping can't help falling for the blue flowers. This one looks a little like bluebells but I don't it is since it grows in stalks. Bluebells are usually spreaders.

new outlook!!

Wheeeeee....I'm proud of myself!! Managed to change the size of the columns and still maintain the rounded edges. Thanks to tutorials like this, Ping-Ping the computer illiterate is now not so bad. *grins widely* Managed to add a few new stuff to the side bars too.

There goes my weekend...

it has changed so much

May 2005

Nok and I were best friends. We went to Cleveland, OH for her sis' graduation, spent the weekend there shopping, laughing, eating..basically, having fun. We knew each other so well we could finish each other's sentence. The weekend after that we went to Holland for the Tulip Festival and then to Saugatuck. It was 'our' time. We just lie down by the dock, enjoying each other's company and laughing over our daily encounters, making fun of each other and all the good stuff. We spent her b'day at a Mexican restaurant and later drinking the night away with margarita.

I went back home for Summer...came back and our lives got busy again with classes and work. Come December and she went home for Christmas, I went to SF. Not a word from each other during the entire break. With a blink of an eye, the semester started again. She got attached, I started teaching.

May 2006

We see each other only once or twice a week. She comes home just as I am about to leave for work. She spends the night at her significant other's place. I am out almost all weekend. Reason for all these...she can't find enough time with her other half...I'm too tired to make a move. Today is her b'day. I went home early...but it was to catch a nap so that I can come back here to set up some culture for tomorrow. She came home shortly after I slept off to have dinner with her brother and sister. Just as I woke up, she left with her bf. But I had a chance to give her hug, wish her happy birthday and gave her the present I bought for her. I still feel the gap though.

How could we have drifted so far apart in one year when we live in the same house? Maybe it's me. I have never been good at making the first move. When I feel left out, I just pull myself away. I don't try to get myself back in. Maybe I should...but I've never been that way and now I'm afraid to do so. Being an observer all my life, sometimes wishing I could belong, I just don't know how to get into the circle again. She had asked me once when I had asked her if I could use something of hers...don't you ever have friends where you can just do stuff without asking? or ask for a favor without being totally polite? My answer was no. I have never felt like I could just ask. From then on, I wanted her to be the one. It went well...but now we drift apart. It doesn't work that way anymore.

While I don't feel close to anyone, being an observer made me independent. Just like how dad brought me up - we have to learn to detach ourselves when it comes time. It can be possible...but why is it so hard for some? Two years is a freaking long time. And yet I still get hurt. What the hell is wrong with me? Life goes on. True, but why does the sadness come back? It's not even worth it. Think about it, it's for someone who hurts you so bad..and later, knowing that he's hurting you and yet he tells you you're the only person he finds solace in. How worth it could it be to hurt for someone like that? It makes total sense to just shunt him away. But then there's a nagging worry feeling...a pull that makes you want to be there for him even though in the end, it only hurts you more. So why do I still care so much? Not too long ago I didn't feel like talking to him. But when I see the weakness in him...all I could do is stay and listen. Why? If only I can find the answer...

Monk-e-Mail

This is soooooooooooo much fun!!

Monk-e-Mail

Dutch Village

This past Saturday is one of the rare fun times that will always be treasured. Heard of phrases like "People do not quit playing because they grow old; they grow old because they quit playing"? This one is by a poet, Oliver Holmes. This is my all time favorite. While most of the time we have to act our age, it does not mean we can't step away from the leash once in a while. For me, it is always the 'playful' moments that I feel like I can be totally myself, never have to worry about keeping the walls up or to remind myself to be strong. It's just me and fun.

Taking the opportunity to have one of these moments, LZ, FY, MW and me went down to Holland, MI for the Tulip Time Festival. The weather wasn't too pleasant for tulips this weekend or any day this week but when LZ, FY and me gets together, goofiness is in the air even if there's a thunderstorm outside. The best thing about us is that all we need is each other. It doesn't matter where we are, what time is it, what we're doing, it's always fun. So what if the pictures aren't all that good because it's so gray. As long as we're laughing and having the best times of our life.

The entrance fee to the Dutch Village, which was where we spend most of the time while we were at Holland, was a little on the pricy side but I was pretty impress. They have a replicas of the stuff the Dutch uses in their olden days lifestyle. There's people who wears the Dutch costumes walking around the park explaining some of the replicas they have. There are also certain times where they have shows or dance. It is definitely an educational visit. In fact, I was thinking that it would be a nice place to bring my parents to (that is if they would ever come here). There are also 2 kiddy rides - The Horse Carousel and The Swing Ride. LZ started with the suggestion that we should go ride on it. Initially I was kinda skeptical - the usual excuse ler. It's only for kids and stuff. So we decided against it. Then I saw one of the little kid's dad went up with his kid and I looked at the 2 girls - oh yeah, we're so gonna ride on the swing. Who in the world cares how old are we???? No one. So we were up there swinging up high and it was just awesome. I couldn't stop laughing. MW did not came up with us but he took a short clip of us on his camcorder, which I'm definitely gonna send it back to my mum. *grins* I can hardly remember the last time I sat on a Carousel or a Swing Ride...probably since Pesta days when I was still staying at Bayan Baru..which is almost 2 decades ago. Later, we walked past a small looking house and an older man who had on a Dutch costume asked us if we want to watch a dance show. He definitely made our day when he said, "They are dancers from high schools, just like you girls". We started cracking up.

The way home was a little quiet as everyone was tired. I was the designated driver and I did wish that I don't have to drive since I'm not totally into driving. But it was totally worth it. Days like this reminds me of all the awesome friends I've made during the short time. It's friends like this who makes me believe that when you find the right person, you click right at that moment and it just gets better. I'll miss these girls so much because there's just no one like them. Whenever we decide to do something, we just do it. What's the point of planning when things doesn't usually work out? As for MW, he's one of the more interesting people to hang out with. Most of the guys just wanna drink and watch sports. He's always up to anything and I'm thankful to have him around to accompany me whenever I'm bored of the daily routine and is looking for fun stuff to do. Unfortunately for him, being the only guy in our little excursion, he had to listen to us bitch about guys. It was such a sweet coincidence that all three of us girls were dumped by our most recent ex for another girl. Maybe that's why we click so well...and why we needed to have each other.

We got back to East Lansing sometime late dinner time. As usual, Peking is our choice for dinner. Not getting enough of each other, we decided to go catch a movie. Ended the night watching RV. It's a family comedy by Robin Williams. Overall, it is pretty good but I got annoyed at some scene because they are those stupid acts that just gets on your nerves.

I'm sooooo gonna miss my babes this summer.

a dozen???

Found this excerpt from MSN.

Should you wed the first person you fall for?
How many people should you wine and dine before you can feel confident enough to say you’ve met your one and only? Believe it or not, mathematics has the answer: A dozen.

Hmm..what if the 12th person you meet is just not right for ya? And if you realize that the person you actually love is one of your first few...kinda too late right? But then again, I'm known for my conservative view in falling in love...

ouch...

Clutching my tummy lying on the front seat of the car wishing I was home lying on my bed tucked under my blankie. At the same time, holding the cell phone to my ear trying to talk without biting on my lips. One part of the conversation goes...

Ping: ...I think about eating but I just don't feel like it.
Him: I don't feel like doing a lot of things too..I don't feel like...(describing stuff he don't feel like doing)...I don't feel like talking to you either...(continue about eating being a necessity. Yeah, I am kinda neglecting that thought for a while now.)

What am I suppose to reply? I was speechless. The phone call went on for a while but by then, I was in too much pain to make a big deal out of it. It may sound like something he says just to knock some sense into me but it came out so easily, it sounded harsh to me and it hurts. What a time to find out the truth...but the truth is better than not knowing sometimes. At least I know to stay away now. In the first place, I don't even know why I thought he would care.

guilt

When we tell someone, "You can count on me" or "I'll be there for you", it is so easy to expect the same back. But like all other good habits, it is not easy to give without taking. Last night, I was so tempted to call BK when I had to talk to someone. Then I stopped myself. I was like, hei, who says you can just call him up and dump all your life challenges on him? You're suppose to be there for him, not the other way around. When I say "I'll be there for you", it doesn't automatically mean he has to be there for me too. It's suppose to be give, not take. So I place the phone back on the table and ponder to myself about the trouble in my head. Unable to take it anymore, I'll just dump it here since no one really reads it, which means I'm not really dumping it on anyone.

Mum's leaving for Aust to join dad in 2 weeks. Lil bro is getting his own place. That means grandma is gonna be home alone again. I know she'll be fine and she takes good care of herself. But I can't help feeling guilty. I wish I could be there with her but I don't have a choice. I can only support her financially but this is one of the times when money doesn't mean anything. I'd be a lot happier staying with her and living on white rice, pepper and tau eu. But that's not how life goes by these days. Every night I can't help worrying about what would happen if she fell or if something happens to her. No one's going to know about it. As long as I'm still here, somewhere deep in my mind, I'll always wonder if I'll get the chance to be with her and spend time with her.

For 20 years, she devoted her life to nothing but me. From the moment I was born until the day I stepped on the plane, leaving a home she had made for me, she made sure I had the most wonderful life. She would cook, clean, hear me cry, stay up all night when I fall sick, make me laugh, made me think...all without a sigh or a word of complain. She brought me wherever she go, introduce me to all her friends because she's so proud of me and had high hopes for me. She watched over my shoulder, making sure I don't get into the wrong group of friends or that I don't fall into a trap. Yet, there were times when I had not listened to her advice. Even then, she never did say "I told you so". I think the person who I hurt most when I broke up with BK was her. She knew it from the beginning that he was never gonna be good for me. She knew that he's gonna hurt me one day. And yet I had let myself fall for him. But she never shoed me away. For the numerous times he hurt me, she sat by my bedside while I cry myself to sleep. Over time, I managed to convince her that he's the best and that he'll never hurt me. She said that if I had decided that one day I would marry him, she'll be happy for me. But I guess she's right again. He was never the one. In the end, I hurt her from the break up because she knows how much it hurts me. She would make up excuses like he'll come back for you and he'll remember how good you were to him and he'll realize how much he lost...even though she and I both know that it's not true. But that was what I wanted to hear at that time and so she said it.

How many people can talk to their grandma about stuff like that? She had never scold me. Never. Even when I get furious at times and let it out on her. She's the best grandma anyone could have. When I was in primary school, she would go to all the award ceremonies when my parents couldn't make it. When I went to high school, she was right there too..all the way thru college. I wanted her to come here for my graduation but she couldn't take the flight. On the night of my graduation, I called her and she said to me...that she would love to see me get married and have kids but if time does not permit, she wants me to have her wedding ring, which I should past it down to my kids. For me, all I want is to spend sometime with her...before it's too late. I don't want her to lead the rest of her life by herself. But what choice do I have? I can't just abandon my entire project and go home. I have expectations to meet here. I have a career path to set for myself.

I feel so helpless. There's nothing I can do. I don't want it to be too late one day. I'm worried. I don't want her to regret taking of me because I end up becoming someone who doesn't care about all she had done for me. Because I'm not. Every single day, I go to bed thinking about all the things she had done for me. Thinking about the times when no one is there for me and yet she's right there next to me. Times when I feel like it's the end of the world and she reminds me how precious life is. What am I suppose to do? What are the choices that I have? I wish that there's something I could do. I just can't help feeling guilty for being here.

graduation ceremonies

This past Saturday is the 2nd time I attended a graduation ceremony here at State. Both were for friends whom I've met for a very short time but we clicked within the first few moments. At Western, they were friends whom I've met in college or at Western itself. People came and go..the last close friend was the past Saturday. While I cheer for their success and wish them a smooth journey ahead, inside, I wish that time does not past so fast. I ask the unanswered question all the time - why do people you love have to leave?

Sometimes I blame myself for the time I take to warm up to people but with L, I knew we were going to be awesome the moment we met. Every moment with her and F is happy times. Even when I am feeling shitty, laughter comes naturally when I'm with both of them. I am definitely going to miss her - both her sweetness and her seriousness. At least F is going to be around for a while. I can't imagine weekends without either of them. It's going to be hard when one day I realize that I can't just flip open my phone and ask if they wanna go for a movie or dinner or something.

it still gets to me

Just saw this article.

Whenever I see articles like that, it gets to me. I know it's been over for a long time but part of me still holds a grudge against it. Maybe because it's the first time I've been rejected..twice!..for something that I worked so hard for. And it was the one time when race and financial status becomes a discriminating factor to me.

Remember when we were young, in high school and the ideal life is ...study hard, get all As, get into a good uni, get a good job and then comes the cheesy part of life. But sometimes it doesn't work out so well because getting all A's doesn't mean you'll get into a good uni. Yeah, it turns out that my life is following the ideal path but for a while back then, it felt like everything was screwed up.

I took an effort to take an extra subject in SPM so that I have a higher chance of getting the 7A's that was considered good at that time (of course with today's standard, 7A's is kacang putih lah). But did that get me into the local unis? Nopez. Twice. I applied twice but no reason why you were rejected..it was just an unfriendly tape recorded phrase saying that you were not accepted. That's it. Then they expect you to move on with your life without any alternative. Unless you have tons of money to end up in a private uni or go abroad. But I thank God, I had the opportunity to apply for scholarships that got me thru my undergraduate degree in the States. But what if I was from a family so poor they can't even help pay for my air ticket and application fee, which cost more than my mum's salary at that time. I am glad that I got the opportunity to earn enough today to afford returning the money back to my parents. Unfortunately, that means I have to be here, miles and miles away from my family and everything else I grew up on. The gov. expects students to go back to work..but without a job opportunity? How is that going to work? Mum have been looking out for new technologies in biology for me and keeping me up to date but I still don't have the image of a company that I can contribute to. Heck, all the research I can find in the local unis on microbiology are medical-based. That's just not my game.

I really agree when they mentioned in the article that "You need better opportunities, respect...". If they just shoved you off without a reason why you're not accepted, then expect you to go back and work for them...that's kinda too much right? If they don't have sufficient space for us to get into the local unis, why not increase the education standards? Make it less easy to get the A's then they get to deal with less application if they set the requirement to like 10A's or above only. That would definitely make us feel better than giving us all the A's and then telling us that we're not accepted but someone else with 5A's was accepted (am sure most of us know who the 5A's students were).

Whatever it is, I still feel lucky that I was not accepted into the local uni or else I wouldn't have the opportunity I have today back in M'sia. But irregardless, that was the only time I was rejected because I was the wrong race. What was worst, a couple years later when I was serving a guy from M'sia and he showed me an expired coupon which I had mentioned that it's expired, and we don't accept it. He came closer and said, "Eh, bumiputra ni. Boleh lah.". That sure got me on fire. What the hell is that suppose to mean?????????? I was so tempted to say, Dude, this only works when you're in Malaysia. Here, you gotta live like everyone else does. You can be special for being yourself but not special for having a certain race. Things don't work the same outside the home country.

This entry is based on my own experience. I'm sure some will not agree to this but this is what I've been shown and I'm not trying to tell you otherwise from your own experience. I am just venting the frustrations. Am still trying to work it out of my system.

comm. meeting done!!

Woohooo!! I just finished my committee meeting last night and now I feel so free. I woke up this morning and felt weird..I was like..hmm..what am I going to do now? Since I couldn't decide and I don't feel like getting up from my bed, I edited the slides for next time..yeah, nerd but at least it's still fresh in my mind so might as well get it done. Anyway, it went really well and it wasn't as scary as I thought it was going to be because they started asking me questions and it felt more like a discussion than me standing there crapping about stuff that I'm not sure if they understand. It actually make me feel motivated. A flicker of hope that the system might actually work out to be a good system. But everyone was well aware that I have tons of variation control to do.

Feeling light and relieved, I decided to go somewhere I haven't been to for lunch and suggested that we go to Pita Pit. It turned out that none of us in the lab have been there before. Got a turkey pita with banana peppers and alfalfa sprouts, which was REALLY good!! Later in the afternoon, Dr. M treated us to Peanut Barrel for TAing for his class. That was definitely fun. We were joking and bitching and laughing. I thought we got a little too far when too much alcohol was consumed but it was definitely a good time for me. Can't remember the last time I laughed so much my cheek hurts. The only thing that sucks is..my coat smells a cigarette bud now. Urghhh!

Back to bed...maybe. *grins*