it still gets to me

Just saw this article.

Whenever I see articles like that, it gets to me. I know it's been over for a long time but part of me still holds a grudge against it. Maybe because it's the first time I've been rejected..twice!..for something that I worked so hard for. And it was the one time when race and financial status becomes a discriminating factor to me.

Remember when we were young, in high school and the ideal life is ...study hard, get all As, get into a good uni, get a good job and then comes the cheesy part of life. But sometimes it doesn't work out so well because getting all A's doesn't mean you'll get into a good uni. Yeah, it turns out that my life is following the ideal path but for a while back then, it felt like everything was screwed up.

I took an effort to take an extra subject in SPM so that I have a higher chance of getting the 7A's that was considered good at that time (of course with today's standard, 7A's is kacang putih lah). But did that get me into the local unis? Nopez. Twice. I applied twice but no reason why you were rejected..it was just an unfriendly tape recorded phrase saying that you were not accepted. That's it. Then they expect you to move on with your life without any alternative. Unless you have tons of money to end up in a private uni or go abroad. But I thank God, I had the opportunity to apply for scholarships that got me thru my undergraduate degree in the States. But what if I was from a family so poor they can't even help pay for my air ticket and application fee, which cost more than my mum's salary at that time. I am glad that I got the opportunity to earn enough today to afford returning the money back to my parents. Unfortunately, that means I have to be here, miles and miles away from my family and everything else I grew up on. The gov. expects students to go back to work..but without a job opportunity? How is that going to work? Mum have been looking out for new technologies in biology for me and keeping me up to date but I still don't have the image of a company that I can contribute to. Heck, all the research I can find in the local unis on microbiology are medical-based. That's just not my game.

I really agree when they mentioned in the article that "You need better opportunities, respect...". If they just shoved you off without a reason why you're not accepted, then expect you to go back and work for them...that's kinda too much right? If they don't have sufficient space for us to get into the local unis, why not increase the education standards? Make it less easy to get the A's then they get to deal with less application if they set the requirement to like 10A's or above only. That would definitely make us feel better than giving us all the A's and then telling us that we're not accepted but someone else with 5A's was accepted (am sure most of us know who the 5A's students were).

Whatever it is, I still feel lucky that I was not accepted into the local uni or else I wouldn't have the opportunity I have today back in M'sia. But irregardless, that was the only time I was rejected because I was the wrong race. What was worst, a couple years later when I was serving a guy from M'sia and he showed me an expired coupon which I had mentioned that it's expired, and we don't accept it. He came closer and said, "Eh, bumiputra ni. Boleh lah.". That sure got me on fire. What the hell is that suppose to mean?????????? I was so tempted to say, Dude, this only works when you're in Malaysia. Here, you gotta live like everyone else does. You can be special for being yourself but not special for having a certain race. Things don't work the same outside the home country.

This entry is based on my own experience. I'm sure some will not agree to this but this is what I've been shown and I'm not trying to tell you otherwise from your own experience. I am just venting the frustrations. Am still trying to work it out of my system.